You always have a question of how it feels to be in love when depression eats you from within.
We all have heard about depression and the pain we go through when we are depressed. Depression builds walls around people and between people. When you are in love and have been dragged inside those walls, distance happens and you end up on a long way to reach your lover.
You miss them when they're right there beside you. You feel cold in thoughts and the river of pain just gulps you in and drags you through the current of depression.
Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. It's a withdrawal from everything that is enriching and life-giving. Depression sucks the life out of love.
That's how it feels. When depression bites, everything becomes hard. Life starts to hurt.
When depression troubles you, love does not seem bright. Everything becomes a blur and the pain of not being able to come out of depression hurts you even more and your lover.
But depression doesn't make you unlovable. When you see your lover beside you, still waiting for you to come out of depression, being a support system all throughout, it makes you feel loved and desired.
"Love yourself before someone can love you", is often proved wrong when it comes to being in the depression.
In depression, you feel sick of your own darkness and you wonder how your lover is coping up with you.
You feel bad but you also feel happy for you know you have a shoulder to cry on every time you feel worse in depression.
Depression often makes you cry for no reason. Doing it alone makes you sicker. But when you see your silver lining with you, you have a happy gleam in the back of your mind.
You feel lonely in depression, but love makes you feel a little less lonely. Your lover helps you through. You wonder how someone can be so madly in love with a soul who doesn't even love his/her own soul, it's own wild and is trying hard to cope with the feeling of being depressed.
Your lover understands the pain you go through and that makes you happy. You don't have to explain, as he/she digests the fact that you are fighting depression and all he/she plans on doing is to support you through this hardship.
The intense love that revolves around you both at times frightens you, as you feel the bubble of love might burst someday soon and you will lose the only happiness that you have. You feel you will push your lover from the edge someday for anything you do might hurt him/her.
You know when your tears fall off your cheek, your lover feels he/she is the reason behind it. You think he/she will leave if that happens once more but it is nothing like that. Your lover is with you, for he/she has been madly in love with the soul you have and that fact won't change.
You often feel the need to push your lover away to not let him/her have any pain from your doings. You feel it is the only way. But there is another, let your lover be by your side. That would make your lover happier. It might be stressful but if it is true love, through thick and thin he/she will stick to your pain. Nothing will let your lover push away himself/herself.
Your everyday struggle will be shared and that would ease your pain. Remember your lover will not leave you when he/she has been with you all this while. Your lover is your forever silver lining.
Remember, there is someone who is always there to support and be with you even in your pain - that is your lover - who will help you through thick and thin. So, stick with your love and face the depression together. You will eventually come out of this black hole.
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