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In this era of online dating, ghosting and caspering, managing relationships can be quite tough, especially if you and your partner work in different shifts. Your job might be eating up most of your time. Sometimes, the shifts may be such that when you return from your work, your partner may leave for his/her work. This can really take a toll on your relationship.
In an interview with Boldsky, Amit (25) from Bangalore working in an IT firm, said, "My job demands me to work in the evening shift and my girlfriend works in 9-5 shift. We face problems as my working hours begin when her working hours get over and vice versa."
How A Relationship Gets Affected
Since the couple can't meet with each other, due to the time differences, there can be frustration and disappointment. And the relationship gets affected. Read on to know how.
Decreased calls and texts: It gets really difficult to talk to your partner during office hours. For talking to your partner, you need to have mental peace and an environment where you can easily talk with your partner.
Amit says, "Since both of us can't meet and talk properly, sometimes we feel irritated and annoyed. Moreover, the frequency of calls and texts decrease when both partners have different work shifts. The same happened in our case."
"All you can have is a few minutes of quick talk while you are in office but when you are at home and really feel like talking, you realise your partner is busy at the office," he further adds.
Unfulfilled expectations: Relationship brings expectations. Both the partner will have some expectations with each other. You might make a dinner plan but then you realise your partner is either still at the office or is coming back to his/her place and needs rest.
Amit says, "We are humans and we need the same to fulfil our emotional and psychological needs. But things become unpleasant when the human you want to be with, is busy while you are free. You can't hang out even when your office hour gets over."
Unresolved issues: Suppose your partner is sick and needs to be nursed. Even if you wish, you won't be able to be with your partner as you need to rush to your office and get things done. On the other hand, your ailing partner might feel left out and miserable.
Amit says, "Even though I want to ask my girl about the problems she faced at her workplace and if she is fine or not, I am unable to do so. The work pressure sometimes prohibits me to stay with my girl when she needs me."
Not only this, but couples also feel unable to resolve each other's problems. Sometimes due to tiredness and work stress, people might even not feel comfortable to listen to what their partners have to say.
Involvement of a third person: If you go through a scenario where both of you can't call/text each other, either of you will look for someone outside your relationship to console you.
Amit says, "In such a situation, you feel if someone was there to listen to your problems. Since you can't call or text your partner, you might get close to someone who can listen to you or make you feel comfortable. This might bring a huge storm in the relationship."
Unwanted fights: Since you might go on for days without having a meaningful talk, your mind might pile up your frustrations, insecurities and agony. This bursts out in a bitter way when you and your partner have even a mere disagreement over something. Things can worsen where both of you might accuse each other of not giving sufficient time.
Loss of excitement: As the couple can't meet and communicate, they might feel their relationship has no more passion and excitement. Sometimes, they are unwilling to have sexual intercourse with their partner.
One of them might be waiting for the other to come home and have a moment of romance and togetherness. On the other hand, the other might come home exhausted and would prefer sleeping than making love to his/her partner.
So these are some of the problems that couples go through when they have different work shifts. Still, couples should try to initiate intimacy and have a mutual understanding to support each other. This way they can save their relationship from becoming fragile.
The names and identifying details have been changed to maintain the privacy of the individuals.