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Love in the form of love, not in the form of attachment!
When people think of love, they automatically feel the attachment with another person. But, what if someone tells you that you can also fall in love with someone without having any form of attachment and can also create a healthier relationship with yourself and your partner in this way?
And then questions that come into our minds are like, "What is the point of falling in love if there is no attachment? How can we fall in love without having any form of attachment? Is it really possible? And is it even healthy to have no attachment in a relationship?"
These questions come in because we do not know how to fall in love without having any form of attachment and these are the direct reciprocation or verbal arguments that go on in our minds.
Understanding the fact that love is not attachment, is very hard. I know it. You will know it as well after reading the full article.
Just look into the past relationship or multiple relationships you were in. Now think about how attachment helped you. Question yourself "if the attachment was the form of love, then why my relationships ended?"
Well, for going ahead in this article, all I want you to do is clear your mind with the regular thoughts you have about love. Just make it blank for a while and dive-in to reach the bottom layer of this article and see what you understood about falling in love with attachment and without it.
This article won't give you answers but will make you question and answer yourself on your own, about the ways you can fall in love without having any form of attachment associated with it.
Do You Love Without Needing Anything From The Person You Love?
This is the first question you need to think about and put forward in your mind, the reasons for your answer. If you think you are loving without asking and not needing anything from them, then you know you are doing it right. If your answer in your mind tells you otherwise, then you know where you stand.
The differences are easy to understand.
a. When you love someone with attachment, you start to say, he/she makes me feel so loved, he/she makes me feel beautiful the way I am, he/she makes me feel special always, etc.
b. When you love someone without attachment, you start to say, he/she is beautiful in every way, he/she is a very special person and will always be a special person, he/she is always loved, etc.
If you still didn't find the difference between both (a & b) then please read again. Understand the flow of the sentence and the meaning. This will give you an insight into the way you love: with or without attachment.
Ways to fall in love without having attachment:
1. Love Yourself First
Firstly, the most important way is to love yourself truly. The only way to not crave attachment from anything else.
The reason why we get attached is to complete ourselves. If you find everything you need in yourself, then you need not crave the attachment from others, rather spread the love in yourself to everyone around you and also to your partner. This is the best way of loving.
In order to do this, you need to figure out what all facts about you, make you love yourself. Once you figure this out, the next steps become easier.
People cannot love themselves, cannot spread love, and cannot fall in love without attachment.
2. Provide Yourself With Reasons Why You Are Attached To Someone
Start being aware of the person you are in love with. How you are attached to that person and on what context. This will give you the brief of your love life in a short and crisp manner. This will show you the extent of attachment you have with your partner.
Figure out where all you think your partner makes you complete. These are the places where you lack in loving yourself. You can start feeling those gaps in yourself rather than attaching to the love in order to fill those gaps.
Secondly, figure out what all things make you fall in love with your partner, things that make you happy about your partner. This will help you in finding out the reasons for loving your partner.
3. Do You Love Yourself, Enough?
It is time to ask yourself if you are giving yourself the love you crave or are you dependent on your partner for providing the love you crave for yourself.
If you are giving enough love to yourself, you can never be dependent on anyone to provide the love you crave and if you are dependent then you have got to make yourself become independent and not depend for love any further.
4. Watch Your Actions And Reactions
You need to be careful about this!
When you and your partner divulge into something of a serious fight or argument or your partner is in a very bad mood, watch your actions and reactions and how your mood changes and your emotions divulge into a lot of reactions.
What does this say?
This will give you insights on how to deal with love and attachment and how not to affect your mood by complementing with your partner's mood and the desire to react.
Once you watch your actions, you become an expert in keeping your emotions away from that of your partner as you know you both might get into a conflict because of this argument. You will also see the change in your mood when you react the way your partner is reacting. This says you are attached with your partner's emotion for which you are also reacting the same way.
5. Start Loving Without Needing
In this step, you need to start trying to love your partner without needing them. This means you stop expecting anything from them and you start with providing them the love that you feel for them because that's what you want to do for them; give them love. Don't ask for anything in return when you give the love. You will start feeling the difference in loving and in the relationship. You will see a silver lining and the brighter side of the relationship.
These are the ways in which you can love your partner without having to attach with them and ask anything from them. You will complete yourself in love and will give better love to your partner. This way you make the relationship healthier and also make your life better with producing enough love for yourself and for spreading around you and also for giving the love to your partner.
If you liked reading the article, share it as much as you can. All we can do is build a community of loved people and spread love as much as we can.
Start sharing and make the world a better place with little of your contribution.