“WAS It Easy For You To Fake Love Than To Be True To The Core”

By A Mixed Nerve

An Open Letter to you.

"It is hard for me to digest what you did. All the moments are rushing in through every pulse, through each breath. What wrong did I do to deserve this?

I am feeling what "others" feel, the ones destroyed by such inhuman lovers in their sight. What went wrong is the question in my mind? The love fell short of its glory or the I fell short of being the lover you desired?

fake love

I am questioning myself these passing nights if I was wrong to fall for you?

Was it the love we discussed?

Is it so easy to fall out of love or you faked it all?

These moments of desperation, these moments of pain, they have made me feel they are mine and the love we had was nothing but a big lie.

I am sorry for writing this. But I am not because this is the only way I can let my pain travel away. I can't take it any further. It is hurting and I wish I could undo it. I wish you would come back.

The days of summer have become longer, the nights are appearing darker, the room feels lonely while your voice echoes in my ears. What happened to your smile, I see it no more, where art thou, why did you disappear?

Come on I want you, you know that I do. Lost in your thoughts I am singing the memories of our past, the ones we walked together holding hands while kissing each other.

Never thought I would see this day, the fake love you had on display.

It is apocalyptic to feel this pain, the love that I gave was true while yours was fake. I dream of a ghost, a ghost you have become. The fake love you showed was the one I owned. Sometimes I feel, I never knew who were you and sometimes it's my flesh waiting for your hands to touch again creating ripples of love inside me.

Was it so hard to be true, or was it a game for you? Was I the jackpot you own or was it the fake love that proved it's worth?

I want you to know the pain you caused will someday leave but the broken heart will never be at peace.

The leftover pieces shattered everywhere is where my soul stays.

You broke me and please do not forget, the karma you talk about will do it's work while I mend my brokenness.

I hope you will remember the nights we spend, the love I gave the fake love you showed, the memories that were made and the talks we exchanged.

I will love until the day ends, till my eyes close, till the heart sleeps, till my soul leaves this body you once devoured.

Remember me, my love, you faked each moment while mine was true. You will someday seek me again and you will find me then in every stranger's face.

I know it will be hard but the karma is fierce than my wrath. You will find me again and again and again in each person you love and meet, for you might leave me but a part of me will walk with you and will always stay.

Mark my words, I might be an old book in your library, but you will read me every night. The love I gave was true and you will regret your doings, later in life. The silent pain that kisses my soul, will kiss you too, the empty sounds that bring desperation, you will hear it too.

And I will remember you as a fake, till death do us apart."

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