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What Happens When People Are Blinded By Love

There are probably very few people on this planet who haven't heard or seen the famous TV series FRIENDS. If you have already watched the show, then there is no way you have missed the scenes that showed how Chandler Bing was never annoyed by the laughter of Janice.

These little, sweet moments in the show are enough to understand how humans can ignore the negative aspects their partners. No matter how cliché it may sound, at some point in our lives, we have come across this adage that- 'Love is blind'.

We are not complaining, and it is pretty natural to be head over heels in love. As a result, a person often fails to recognise or understand the flaws of their partners or even fail to see that they are a bad match for them.

It is not that people who are blindly in love with their partners are because they want humour in their lives. It is just that they can't judge their partner fairly.

Some people can be really frustrated or annoyed to see their friends in a relationship that is harmful or not good at all.

But, there is always something that we can do for our friends.

Your friend may turn a blind eye to your advice, because when they trust their partner, it is difficult for them to understand the negative traits of their partner. Reports suggests humans are bad at gauging the character of people closer to them [1] .

In such cases, it may be that your friend(s) may be manipulated by their partner(s). But, one good thing is by observing these instances we can analyse what kind of person we want to be with and we get a better understanding of similar situations in our lives. As a result, we are able to take charge of them immediately.

When people fall in love they are not easily distracted by the alluring alternatives. This is applicable for both for men and women. They have full commitment towards their partners. When one is in a committed relationship, in most cases either of the partners don't feel the need to get attracted to someone else. But in addition to this, blind love also makes people a bad judge for their partners.

There studies that show that humans consider attractiveness, status (access to resources) and kindness as the important factors before starting a a romantic relationship [2] . These characteristics can be termed as "Big Three" qualities. These qualities can bring some sort of accuracy in judging our partners.

Garth Fletcher, the professor of Psychology at the Victoria University of Wellington, New Zealand, has said, "From an evolutionary point of view, judgments of the quality of our partners must have some sort of accuracy." He explains this statement with the example of peacock and peahen. Peahen will choose a peacock as their partner only if the peacock has an extravagant tail. For this animal perceiving, this quality is quite important as, if not chosen wisely, peahen's relationship with the peacock won't be fruitful.

"It should follow that humans are very picky about their partners because we pair-bond for life. So, if we are inaccurate at assessing the quality of our partner, qualities like attractiveness or kindness wouldn't matter so much anymore," said Fletcher. [3]

Therefore, for having a strong and pure relationship, one should try to see all good and bad qualities of the person they want as a partner. This can help them to not only decide what they want, but how to take things further.

View Article References
  1. [1] Kenny, D. A., & Acitelli, L. K. (2001). Accuracy and bias in the perception of the partner in a close relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(3), 439.
  2. [2] 2. Valentine A. Katherine, Li. P Norman and Meltzer L. Andrea ( 2019, June 11). retrived from Sage Journal shttps://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167219855048 on 2019 August 9
  3. [3] 3. Park William (2019, Aug 6). The surprising benefits of being blinded by love, BBC. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190805-the-benefits-of-being-blinded-by-love on 10th Aug 2019

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