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Is Dating Someone Similar To You The Key To A Happy Relationship?
All of us want a compatible partner and a happy relationship. We look at our partner's traits and behaviour to check whether we will be compatible with our partner or not. Most of us look for partners having similar interest, hobbies and personality traits. However, according to the Journal of Research in Personality, having the same characteristics, interests and personality traits doesn't guarantee a happy and compatible relationship.
In 1968, a survey on relationships was carried out at the Michigan State University on 2570 heterosexual couples aged between 22-51 years. The survey also gauged the satisfaction level of couples who shared the same behavioural aspects.
Sharing Behavioural Characteristics Led To Initial Attraction
The survey revealed most of them were initially attracted to their partner due to the shared behavioural and personality traits. Eventually, every participant felt their personality trait matters the most to them and then comes the personality of their partners. Once the individuals were satisfied with the personality of their partner, their relationship felt satisfactory to them.
What Happens Afterwards
Initially, people might feel happy to find a person who is having similar liking and personality traits but afterwards, they get annoyed and look for some change in their partner. As people are used to their behaviour and when they find their partners to have a similar behaviour, they feel their partners do not have anything new.
Dating someone who is having a different behaviour can help people to grow and become adaptable. As people get to know their partners and the way their partners differ from them. This helps them get used to different traits of other people.
Twitterati
too
expressed
their
views
on
dating
someone
who
is
similar
to
them
and
here
are
a
few
responses:
@marchdeangelis
says,
"dating
someone
similar
to
you
is
overrated."
i feel like dating someone who's super similar to you is overrated. be with someone who's different and can help you grow and look at the world with new eyes. plus if i dated the male version of me id prolly hate him after an hour anyways
— 𝕯𝖆𝖗🍒 (@marchdeangelis) August 4, 2018
@imchelseahi tweeted it is cool to date someone who introduces you to new things.
I guess I understand the interest in dating someone who is similar to you but dating someone who introduces you to new things is so cool
— chelsea 👻 (@imchelseahi) March 24, 2017
Five Traits That People Looked For
In addition to this, every participant admitted to looking for five traits in their partners regardless of their traits. The five traits are as follows:
1. Openness: Participants wanted their partners to be enthusiastic about trying new things. They wanted their partners to keep on experimenting with things to do. In addition to this, the participants wanted their partners should go on adventures as well and to explore new things.
2. Conscientiousness: Irrespective of whether the participants themselves were organised in their lives or not, they wanted their partners to be well-organised. They admitted, "it is good to have someone who is detail-oriented and manages things in an organised way."
3. Extraversion: Everyone loves someone who is sociable, amicable and confident. Similarly, the participants too wanted their partners to be outgoing and friendly. Even though the participants themselves were not having the sociable attitude, they wished if their partners could be sociable.
4. Agreeableness: Caring and helping nature is always welcomed and praised by others. Perhaps that's why the participants wanted their partners to have concern for others. They wanted their partner to be kind and caring. For them, listening to other people and solving their problems was a great thing and they wanted their partner to be the same.
5. Neuroticism: Almost every participant wanted his/her partner to have less neuroticism. They wanted their partners to be able to deal with stress, anxieties and fears. So, their relationships could be saved from unnecessary fights and conflicts.
The Survey Results
The
results
concluded,
couples
with
more
agreeableness,
extraversion
attitude,
conscientiousness,
and
less
neuroticism
were
happy
with
each
other.
These
people
were
also
leading
a
happy
and
peaceful
life.
This
meant
one's
happiness
is
important
to
have
a
happy
and
healthy
relationship.
After
analysing
every
relationship,
the
results
revealed,
the
happiness
of
an
individual
in
a
relationship
was
in
the
hands
of
the
same
individual.
Initially,
an
individual
might
be
attracted
to
another
person
due
to
the
similarity
in
thoughts,
behaviour
and
traits
but
at
a
point
of
time,
the
individual
seemed
to
look
for
something
new
in
his/her
partner
in
addition
to
the
above
five
traits.
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