For a normal human adult to survive, she or he needs to do a certain amount of work. This work gives him or her money that they need to live a life of their choice. However, some people love their jobs more than the others and are often termed as 'workaholics'.
These people have an altogether different zeal with respect to their profession and they are ready to walk the extra mile to achieve all the professional success that they dream of.
Now, having such a person in your life (as your son, daughter, mother, father, brother or sister) is not an easy job. However, the most difficult role in which you can have them in your life is that of your boyfriend or girlfriend.
This is because as a ward, parent or even as a husband and wife, there are certain duties that are dictated by the society. Irrespective of how much he or she loves the job, he/she is bound to adhere to that. However, even today, the Indian society does not speak much about the duties and responsibilities of a boyfriend or girlfriend (as my boyfriend rightly points out, anything that happens before marriage is kiddish and is of lesser significance to people of the previous generation).
Thus, in order to make it through a relationship with a workaholic, here are ten tips for you. Adhere to this and your relationship will be a cakewalk; for if things are done right, workaholics make the best lovers (and here again, I speak from experience).
1. Understand Varying Workloads
Most jobs these days have varying workloads. It is important for you to realize that there will be times when you partner will be busier than normal. This is all the way truer if he or she is a workaholic. Thus, if you see your partner struggling to meet deadlines or putting in extra effort at something at work, it is time you pull back and let him or her to get back to his normal schedule. Remember, the extra workload will not last forever in his line and it is up to you to make your role in his or life last forever.
2. Old Habits Die Hard
He or she loved his or her job way before you came along. In such a case, it is very difficult for your partner to break away from it. If you expect your partner to give up on the zeal and passion for their work only because you came along, quite frankly speaking, you do not even deserve to be in a relationship with him or her.
3. Different Working Hours
These days, most of the jobs in IT sector are service based, wherein organizations cater to the interests of oversees clients. This results in a lot of people having to work in shifts or even weekends as per client needs. If your partner is able to accept this, there is no reason for you not to. Remember working long hours, in odd hours or in weekends, is something that is mentally taxing, irrespective of how much you love your job. Do not make things more difficult than what they already are by nagging and complaining about the same.
It is often seen that in certain families working hard is the way of life. Similarly, there are certain professions (like those of the defense) where almost everyone around is a workaholic. In such a situation, chances are that your boyfriend or girlfriend takes this as the 'norm' of life. In such a situation, do not try to change him. Rather this is a very good habit and it is something that you should consider emanating yourself.
5. Do Not Try To Change Him Or Her
Remember when you started dating the person, you had agreed upon all of him or her. Now that you see that he or she loves their job more than you had expected, you should not try to chance the person. First of all, being a workaholic is not bad and all that unhealthy. Even if it were to be, when you date a person, you must accept him or her with all their flaws. You have absolutely no right to comment on a person's love for his or her work, let alone try to change the same.
6. Set Out Ground Rules
Even if you are dating a workaholic, certain ground rules of dating still apply to you. Make it a point to set aside the phone when both of you are on a date and encourage him or her to do the same as well. The phone should be answered only in case of an emergency. That way, you will be able to make the most of the little time that you get for yourself and build memories that will last a lifetime. For your workaholic partner, this will be a welcome respite and will refresh him or her, thereby enabling them to focus on their job better.
7. Take Interest In Their Work
People who are obsessed with their work like it when others take interest in the same. Hence, go out of the way to learn about your partner's work. If he or she is from the field or profession as you, pitch in for suggestions as and when you can (trust me, any workaholic would love that). Revel in your partner's professional achievements. If you are a workaholic yourself, try to involve your partner in what interests you. Doing so will not make you appear to be too demanding. Rather, the joy that you find when your partner is interested in you will find its way back to your partner and you will find yourself in the midst of a much healthier relationship.
8. Do Not Distract Your Date When They Are At Work
We understand that there may be times when you long for attention from your partner but he or she is too busy at work to give you that. At times like that, make sure you do not distract him or her. Having someone distract you when you are trying to focus is very frustrating. By putting your boyfriend through that you are actually unnecessarily taxing your relationship. Remember, being in a relationship is all about being each other's strength and you must ensure that you do not do things that make him or her feel that you are a burden on them.
9. Find Yourself An Obsession
Most of the times you feel that your partner is over obsessed in his work because you have nothing that keeps you engrossed. This makes your relationship an obsession one for you and you expect the same from your partner. When such a thing does not happen, it leaves you irritated with your partner. The best way to tackle this would be by looking for an obsession for yourself. Your job need not be the only option. Try to develop a hobby that will keep you busy when your boyfriend or girlfriend has no time for you. This will not only save your relationship but will lead to a much happier you.
10. Do Not Be Nagging
In spite of all of this, there will be times when that entire obsession about work that your partner has will annoy you. At times like that, do not start nagging, whining or pleading. Doing so will make you appear clingy and petty and will get you absolutely nowhere. As long as it is tolerable, try to accept it. If you feel that all of it is way too much for you to take in, try to talk to him or her about it when he is in a calm state of mind and is not busy meeting deadlines at work. If, in spite of all of this, your partner refuses to discuss the issue, it is time you should consider where your relationship is heading.