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Nowadays, breakups and patch-ups happen in split seconds. Therefore, gaslighting and ghosting have become quite common and serious relationships are slowly becoming an alien concept. Even to get your partner all you have to do is swipe right in online dating apps and guess what, the very next moment you have a new person in your life.
All it takes for both of them is to go on a few dates and decide whether they are compatible or not. Therefore, often couples get confused, whether it is love or lust.
There is another fancy term called 'breadcrumbing' in a relationship. For foodies, who are browsing through this article and still think this term is related to food and not a relationship, kindly scroll down to know what it means and the signs so that you can figure out whether you are in it or not!
What Is Breadcrumbing In A Relationship?
Think of a situation where you have developed a crush on someone and you and your crush chat with each other, yet sometimes you feel left out.
Your crush sometimes doesn't reply to your texts and after a few days, he or she will message you again and will ask your whereabouts. A series of chatting and sharing mushy texts will continue. After somedays, your crush will again disappear for a while and come back to get the attention you used to give him or her.
This is known as breadcrumbing in a relationship.
People who do this make sure you have romantic interest in them, though he/she might not be the same.
Adya (23), who is a blogger from Bihar shares her experience with Boldsky, "I was having a crush on a guy whom I met through one of my friends. We started to chat and I really loved talking to him. But sometimes, after chatting for two-three days, he would disappear and won't reply to my messages. After a week or two, he used to suddenly show up and then everything seemed to be alright. But again he would get busy and won't reply to messages, though he would post pictures on his social media account. This was very difficult on my part, every time I had to go through something like this".
Signs Of Breadcrumbing
1. They send you sudden texts and calls: You will be suddenly reminded of your romantic instinct by the breadcrumber through impromptu texts and calls but never, ever, ever mistake it for love.
He or she will love to flirt with you and will pass hints that will make you more inclined towards him or her. Adya says, "The guy used to message me at times in such a way that showed he was actually interested in me. But, then I realised he was not serious about this relationship".
2. They make fake promises: The breadcrumber will make fake promises to keep you romantically involved with him or her. They like to keep an open-ended relationship. The moment you complain about their uncertain or vague behaviour, the breadcrumber will make fake promises that he or she will try to change his or her behaviour but this never happens. He or she will hang out with others while you are waiting for that person.
3. They Stop You When You Try To Move On: Breadcrumbers are quite talented in preventing their victims from moving on. The moment they come to know you are trying to move on, breadcrumbers will appear in front of you and will start spending more time with you.
Adya says, "The guy always used to stop me from moving on and find someone else. He used to respond to my texts and calls as soon as he came to know, I am looking for other people. Also, he would say, 'I like the way you talk' and 'You are a person to be loved till eternity', but, after a few weeks, he would again make me feel lonely and worthless".
4. They Make False Commitment: The breadcrumber knows how to manipulate you and make you stuck with him or her, according to his or her wish. The person won't leave you and will show that he or she is committed to you but the reality is entirely different. Also, the moment you need him or her the most, the breadcrumber might turn you down or simply won't respond.
5. They Will Make You Feel Guilty: You might feel constantly guilty for being in such a relationship where breadcrumbing often happens. Also, the breadcrumber makes you feel guilty upon being questioned the reason for not responding to your calls and texts. He or she might get angry at you and will tell you are the one controlling him or her.
"He used to say I am being possessive and obsessed with his texts and calls. But the truth is I just wanted answers to my questions," recalls Adya.
Breadcrumbing might make a person feel quite lonely, hollow and uncertain about his or her value in the life of their partner. It is a dangerous thing that hinders a person's self-confidence and ability to trust someone. Therefore, it is better to involve in such a relationship where you can have clarity about the future of your relationship and your partner value your presence in his or her life.
Disclaimer: The names and identifying details of the individual have been changed to maintain privacy.