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*This letter is to all those men who are responsible for the problems caused to their wives. It is a way in which I am expressing their grievances in hope of a better tomorrow. Hope is their only child in this situation. This letter might sound brutal to you, but it is lesser than the brutality they have been facing. I hope you all understand them.
They are not a land you own, nor a river you go to dive in to show your manhood. They are not the daily bread that you can have as much as you like. They are not just daughters, sisters and wives, they are humans and being happy with you is their right.
You treat them like they are just born to be your slave. Like a snake crawling, you want them to crawl up to your bed. You burn them on the roads, while others be an audience; you beat them inside closed doors, while your eyes strive for enjoyment.
Is that the reason you married her and her soul? To keep an amusement inside four walls?
Well, they ain't your slave anymore. Either, they live with pride or die being the one to roar.
I am listing certain points which will make you realize that all you did to burden them with pain is not going to work any further.
Wives Are Not Properties You Own. An Open Letter To The Indian Men.
1. Stop judging
They got married to you for the reasons of love, compassion and that you will stand beside them when they are in need of your support. But what did you do?
You just judged them as per their work and expressions. You tell them the fact that they got to change certain attributes they have.
Judging your wife isn't the proper way to treat her. They craved for happiness and you give them the pain of judgment in each and everything they do for themselves or for you and the family.
You got to stop this, in order to give your wife a life of what she had dreamt and desired with you. Make them feel loved and see the magic they unfold with the love they shower for you.
2. Don't charge them with your desires of sex
They aren't married to you with the sole purpose of being your puppet. Respect their wishes too. If you want to have sex and they aren't ready, don't force them. Be patient.
Perhaps, she will be interested to make wonders tomorrow. Give her that space. Respect her desires.
Do not charge them with your words. You shouldn't. She is a human after all and she has her own wishes and desires. Don't push your fantasies on to them. Let them be ready and willing to go ahead, in order to support you in completing your fantasies.
3. Verbal abuses and emotional as well
Psychological torture by emotional and verbal abuse has been found a lot. It is worse than physical abuse. The psychological degradation is far more humiliating and painful than the physical abuse a woman suffers from. Battered women repeatedly cite psychological humiliation and isolation as their worst battering experiences, whether or not they have ever been physically abused.
It is unjust on your part to get someone into your life and then just start torturing them if not physical then verbal and emotional.
4. Physical abuse
It is the most recognized form of abuse that is constantly happening around. It is a punishable offence like all the above are.
Beating up your partner and torturing them for any reason is unacceptable. Physical abuse is one of the first forms of violence people think of when they hear the words domestic violence.
Physical abuse is slightly easier to recognize, as it is not hard to hide, and is often more obvious than emotional abuse. It occurs when behaviours are clearly portrayed to make the victim powerless and to gain control in the relationship.
5. Problems with in-laws
I cannot evade in-laws when domestic violence is the topic. Wives have always feared about in-law problems and you cannot deny it. In-laws have been a real pain for many married women. You might not understand this; but behind your back, your mother might be torturing your wife and as you love your mother, she never speaks about it to you. She bears the pain all by herself. Don't let her grow old with pain but let her blossom wild in your love garden.
6. Financial freedom
Many wives are housewives and this is the reason they are not financially independent. This leads to a lot of problems for them to face.
She has no financial freedom, as she doesn't earn. Why doesn't she? Because you and your family never wanted your family pride (daughter-in-law/wife) to work outside the house. What pride are you planning on portraying? Pride of being the only slave or the only one who survives the pain bestowed upon her beautiful soul.
What pride is it when your wife is lamenting her pain?
Allowing your wife to work will not only increase your financial conditions, but it will also make her happy. Let her have the financial freedom she wants. Don't just chain her to the legs of your bed.
She is a free bird who chose you, and you shouldn't give her the pain she doesn't deserve.
7. She is not just a production unit
Don't treat her as she was born to give birth to the heir of your family. She wasn't born for that. That is her choice just the way it is yours. Respect her choice. She chose you as well. She is not a production unit of your family. She didn't marry you for this reason. She wanted to get married to a man who would treat her equally and would be with her through thick and thin.
8. Ego problems
You and your wife are working and she is more successful than you. Take it in a positive way rather than bullying your wife because you are having ego problems. You cannot withstand her success. You should be happy for her success, as it is your support due to which she is succeeding.
All these 8 points are the reasons behind all the abuses that wives have to suffer from.
In thoughts of giving love and receiving, women are subjected to abuse and bullying. Hold hands and start making amendments. Make her grow wild in your love rather than succumb to the pain. She is a wife to you but a soul of her own and in the end, she is a human of hope with you as her only love.