How To End Father-Son Rivalry?

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Father Son Rivalry
Most of the time, we do not even like to admit that there is any such thing as 'father son rivalry'. But unfortunately, not talking about a problem or pushing it under the carpet does not make the situation any better. As Father's Day is coming up, let us take a closer look at this weird angle of the father son relationship.

Why Does Father-Son Rivalry Happen?

1. Let us be very clear about the fact that this is a very different kind of rivalry. It involves no jealousy or spite. Most often it is a disappointment or the inability to live up to expectations that gives rise to a father-son rivalry.

2. A father always wants his son to be just like him. If the father is not really a successful man, then he pins all his own expectations on his son. The son on his part sometimes rebels against the burden of expectations or is unable to live up to them. This pressure makes the son go against his father.

3. Most sons who have extremely successful fathers struggle under the shadow of their father's name and fame. This happens most often to celebrity kids who cannot become as famous as their fathers. The world at large judges them as per their father's standards and always finds them diminished in a way.

4. No two people are ever totally alike even if they happen to be father and son. Fathers forget this simple fact while parenting sons. In short, they always manage to forget their own days as a 'son'.

5. In most families, the father has to play the role of a disciplinarian for the son. Playing this harsh role does not allow them to open up and bond with their sons.

All these issues make the father-son relationship a complicated one. However, on this Father's Day you must make a conscious effort to break out this viscous circle. The following measures can help you in doing so.

How To End Father-Son Rivalry?

1. Always choose a different profession from that of your father. That way, you will have your own sky to shine as a star. The moment you take your father's profession, you will be compared to him constantly.

2. As a father, you need to understand that your son is an individual; he has his own dreams, own capabilities and qualities that are different from yours. Do not try to judge whether his dreams are superior or inferior to yours.

3. Your father is never your enemy. Even if you do not like what he says, he is saying it with best interests. You do not have to agree with him; just learn to agree or disagree respectfully.

4. Acceptance is a thing that both father and son needs to learn. Both have their own human weaknesses and failings. But, you need to forgive and accept each other. Acceptance is the key to ending a strained relationship.

This Father's Day, banish any kind of father-son rivalry from your lives. Happy Fathers Day in advance!

Read more about: fathers day, parenting
Story first published: Thursday, June 14, 2012, 12:11 [IST]
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