Marriage Is More Than Clothes, Jewellery And Celebration: Things You Need To Know About Marriage

Marriage is like a house and like every house it needs maintenance as well. Here, couples work every day for each other, despite the circumstances. Most people consider marriage to be a relationship where a couple love each other and spend their life together. However, marriage has so much to offer than this.

The married couples might be deeply in love with each other but both are still independent and have a different perspective. This can sometimes lead to some conflicts between the couples.^[1]

How Do You Feel About Marriage

People when married, feel butterflies in their stomach in their initial years. The bonding is so intense that they never fail to appreciate their partner or their efforts.

As years pass by, many couples cannot face the test of time and they start facing issues. Fights and arguments become a common routine. The blame game between couples continues and the beautiful relationship becomes nightmare.

However, there are couples who criticise each other at times and support each other in every ups and downs. It is not that these couples have something special in them. No relationship is perfect, it is not about how much we understand each other, it is more about how to avoid misunderstandings and stick together.

So what do these folks do to make it all the way? What are the things that one can learn from these ? Also, why those who are leading their life without any partner should find a special person to annoy and love for the rest of their life? The answer to this has been explained by Jenna McCarthy, a relationship expert in one of the episodes of Ted Talks where she spoke about people don't know about marriages ^[2] .

What Marriage Is All About

Generally, people think marriage is all about celebrations, fun, clothes, jewellery, and honeymoon. However, the truth is something else. Marriage comes with responsibilities, a new set of family, expectations, hopes and so much more. In short, it demands a space of its own.

There will be times when your words and actions might hurt your partner. And you might also fail to realise it initially and by the time you do, it will be too late. Fret no more, here are some suggestions that you can incorporate in your marriage to make it more beautiful-

Trust your partner: Trust is one of the most important factors for couples to keep their relationship strong and going. Trusting each other is a way to show your love and respect for each other. When you don't trust your partner, your partner might feel dejected. Eventually, you might end up losing your partner. For married couples, trust is the base of their relationship.

Show respect to each other: Feelings come naturally to human beings. When you don't respect the emotions of your partner, you end up hurting them at times. It is not only about feelings but also about showing respect to their personality and their perspectives.

No one enjoys being disrespected in any manner. In a marriage, both individuals are equally involved and important. Both of them have their own individuality and therefore, couples should have mutual respect for each other.

Take care of each other: The moment you exchange rings and make vows, you are abided by the responsibilities that come along with the marriage. You are expected to care of each other and bring out the best in them. Not just your partner, but you also have to look after your in-laws and respect their customs and traditions as well.

Appreciate your partner: Everyone enjoys being appreciated. You can make your partner feel happy and special by appreciating his/her efforts. Appreciate the food they cook, the way they manage their work and personal life. Little things can make huge difference. You may notice the smile on your partner's face when you appreciate them. Old couples who seem to be madly in love with their partners appreciate each other's efforts always.

Focus on the positive aspects: There will be times when you might be annoyed by the unhealthy habits of your partner or with their laziness. In that case, you will surely ask them to leave these habits. Chances are your partner might not pay heed to you and obviously, you will feel angry. Now, this might bring some bitterness in your relationship.

So, the best way to help your better half is by asking him/her to quit the unhealthy habits and incorporate the healthy habits in a gentle way. This way you can be positive in any situation. Instead of speaking harsh words, you can say, "Honey, it is so good to see you eating healthy snack. This inspires me." Or, you can say, "Yeah, it was devastating when we lost everything in that fire, but it's kind of nice sleeping out here under the stars, and it's a good thing you've got all that body fat to keep us warm." ^[2]

Stay active and energetic: You might be attracted to your partner for a number of reasons such as physical appearance, smile, intelligence, kindness, and many other qualities count into it. Still, there are times, when couples feel their partner to be boring. They feel no excitement in their marriage.

Why does it happen? The reason can be doing the same thing over and over can end the spark in their bonding. Also, if one of the partners is a couch potato and feels no need to move his/her body, it may become difficult to handle them. To counter this, couples can try to be involved in various activities. The activities can be anything - sports, picnic, trekking, and so much more.

Live a emotionally healthy life: When you are married, you lead a happy and healthy life. You become emotionally and mentally healthy. As you have someone to support and help you in need. You can share your problems and doubts without having the fear of being judged.

Jenna McCarthy says, "The bottom line is, whether you're in it or you're searching for it, I believe marriage is an institution worth pursuing and protecting."^[2]

There are times when married couples have conflicts and go through differences. Still, they stay together irrespective of the ups and downs. The thing that keeps them together is kindness, respect, and affection for each other.

It is essential to remember that your partners are humans as well. They too have feelings and are equally frustrated, tired, hurt and stressed at some point of their lives. Like other people, they also want to look for kind words, affection, embrace and support. These things strengthen your bond with your better half and makes the relationship stronger.

A happy married life has patience, tolerance and acceptance. Appreciating your partner's little efforts can bring you closer to each other and will strengthen your bond.