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Marriage is not a small thing but a commitment that the two individuals would stay together forever. People often say that in order to make marriage successful, couples need to love and stay committed to each other. But if love and commitment were the only ingredients for a blissful marriage then there wouldn't have been so many divorce cases across the world. There are so many married couples who often complain that had they known each other in a better way, their marriage would have been successful.
We cannot deny that knowing your partner before you tie the knot is quite important as this can help you in knowing whether you will be compatible with each other. So, how is it possible for you to know your partner before taking the vows? Well, there are certain questions that you can ask to have an honest discussion and figure out if you are on common grounds or not.
1. What Do You Expect From Marriage?
This is one of the most important questions that you need to ask before getting married to him/her. This question will help you in figuring out your partner's perspective towards marriage. Different people have a different perspective on marriage. For example, a person may think marriage is all about having someone to look after your family or bear your expenses or a person with whom you can share your entire life.
2. What Are Your Financial Goals?
Money is a factor that can weaken a strong relationship like anything and therefore, discussing money is extremely important. You need to know what your partner's financial goals are and how he/she handles finances. Is he/she planning to invest money in some real estate or in the stock market? Discussing about finances before marriage will help you in knowing whether you and your partner will be able to maintain fidelity in terms of finance or not. Also, you will be able to avoid any sort of misunderstanding arising due to expenses and savings. Moreover, you can figure out whether your partner wants to keep his/her finances separate from you.
3. How Do You Deal With Tough Situations?
This question will help you in knowing what steps he/she takes to resolve a problem. Does your partner have a problem-solving approach or just throw plates whenever he/she is stuck in some problems? There will be times when you and your partner may be surrounded by various problems. In such cases, if your partner is impatient and impulsive, then things can worsen.
4. Have You Taken Any Debts Recently?
Once you have asked about the financial goals of your partner, now it's time to ask if he/she is into any debts. If yes, then what are his/her ideas to get rid of the debts? Is your partner paying his/her credit card bills on time? Disclosing debts before marriage can be extremely helpful and this will help in building trust between you and your partner. You can also ask if he/she will ever help you if you are in debt.
5. How Do You Spend Money?
Is your partner extravagant or does not spend at all? Does he/she spend his/her entire salary on shopping, entertainment, food and other things? What is his/her budget? These questions when not asked beforehand can cause a rift in your married life as you may not have mutual compatibility. This is because the moment you realise you and your partner are not mutually compatible with spending money, it might be too late.
6. What Are Your Dreams?
As a couple, both of you need to support each other's dreams in many ways. Getting married to each other doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice your dreams and goals. This often happens with women who give up on their dreams for the sake of the family. Therefore, it is better that you ask your partner's dreams beforehand to see in what ways you can help him/her. Also, if you feel that your partner isn't happy with the idea of supporting your dreams then you can call it off before it's too late.
7. Will You Feel Comfortable In Sharing Responsibilities?
In a marriage both the individuals are equal and so it is important for both of them to share the responsibilities equally. For example, you think only women should cook as this is what they are supposed to do as women. Whereas thinking that men should only book tickets before going on a vacation and so on can bring differences in your marriage. Therefore, it is important to know if your partner will be sharing responsibilities with you or not. Will he/she cook while you are attending a meeting or will he/she pay the electricity bill in case you forgot to do so?
8. Do You Want To Have Children?
Now, this is another most important question that you need to ask your partner before you decide to get married. What are his/her thoughts on having children? Does he/she want to have a baby in a year of getting married or want to wait for 3-4 years? Also, if your partner would take equal responsibilities of changing diapers, feeding the child and spending time with the baby? What if you are not able to get pregnant? Will your partner support you in that situation?
9. How Close Are You With Your Family?
This question will help you in knowing your partner's equation with his/her family. Your partner may be more attached to a particular family member. You will get a clear idea about if your partner will be spending more time with his/her family or will be able to make a proper balance between family members and married life. You can ask him/her if he/she will be giving equal importance to your family members or not. Moreover, you will get to know whether your partner has any sort of issues in the family.
10. How Do You Handle Your Stress?
All of us go through stress in our lives and so will your partner. Therefore, knowing in what ways your partner deals with his/her stress is extremely important. Does he/she become quite impatient and restless when stressed? Or does her/she prefer taking someone's help? This will also help you in knowing how you can help your partner deal with stress. Will you need to give him/her advice or let him/her be alone for some moment. You can also share your ways of handling stress.
In addition to the above-mentioned questions, you can also discuss your strengths and weaknesses. Both of you can discuss each other's past relationships and if you are still in touch with the ex(es). These questions will minimise the chances of conflicts and differences that may raise their heads in your relationship. We hope you have a great and blissful married life.