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Let's get one thing straight that both arranged and love marriages both have their own set of pros and cons. One can never conclude which one of them is better and why. However, you will never deny that most of the Indian parents will always prefer arranged marriage over love marriage. In an arranged marriage, you will get an opportunity to know each other over the course of time. You will be able to develop trust, emotional intimacy and compatibility slowly and gradually. But the moment you get married to someone, you get a bundle of responsibilities as well.
As a result, at times, there will be fights, arguments and conflicts in your marriage. But in addition to this, there are some more problems that may raise their heads in your married life. To know what those problems are and how to solve them, scroll down the article to read more.
1. Never-Ending Family Functions
It is not only the gifts, blessings and responsibilities that you receive when you get married. You also get a new set of family and relatives. Now it is obvious that you will be invited to numerous family functions. Not only this but your own marriage will have numerous family functions and it is obvious that you will have to meet many of your relatives. This may make you frustrated and annoyed.
How To Deal With It: Instead of taking out your frustration, you can tell your husband that you are tired after meeting so many people. You can also let him know that you want to take some rest and spend some alone time. Your husband will surely understand this and will ensure that you get some rest after attending never-ending family functions.
2. The Expectation To Be The Perfect Happy Couple
It is obvious that your family members and relatives will expect you and your spouse to be the perfect happy couple. They will want you to care for your families and ensure that you are happy with each other. Even if you and your spouse are not happy with each other and are facing some issues, you will be expected to set an example of an ideal couple. Such as you will be asked to wake up early and prepare breakfast for your husband and cook his favourite meal when he returns from his office.
How To Deal With It: The best way to deal with this problem is by working on the marriage. You can try developing a healthy bond with each other. Or you can let your family know that it is not important to be a perfect couple. All you need is to be compatible with each other and develop an emotional bond. You can also let them know about the problems and conflicts between you and your spouse.
3. Endless Kitchen Work And Other Household Chores
This is one of the most common problems that may come in one's married life. As a married woman, your in-laws will expect you to do most of the kitchen and household chores. No matter how busy you are in your office work, they will expect you to cook great food and handle all the household work. This no doubt sounds dogmatic and intimidating, especially if you are a working woman.
How To Deal With It: Let your family know that you are a working woman and therefore, you can't always handle the kitchen and household chores. You can discuss it with your husband and ask him to help you out from this scenario. Instead of yelling and arguing let your in-laws know that you would love to help and cook at times. But doing this every time while you are going to the office also can be a bit tiring.
4. Busy Schedule And Late Working Hours
There are chances that your in-laws won't agree to let you work late in the night. They may not like this that you are staying out during the odd hours. They may ask you to resign from your job and find a new one. And what if your husband too doesn't approve of your working hours? This can really take a toll on your marriage.
How To Deal With It: Let your in-laws and husband know why it is important for you to work even during the odd hours. You can explain to them that you will be taking proper care of yourself. Let them know that your work life is equally important and you can't give up on your job just because of the night shift. You can also ask your husband to pick you up from the office as soon as your shift ends.
5. Arguments With Your Mother-In-Law
Arguments between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are quite common. One of the reasons behind these arguments can be the generation gap and different upbringings and perspectives. There will be times when your mother-in-law may not be happy with you and she may scold you. She may also complain about your ways of doing work, etc. There can be times when even a small fight can result in a big conflict.
How To Deal With It: We understand that you will be hurt after your mother-in-law scolds or complains about you. But that doesn't mean you have to jump into the argument and speak harsh words to your mother-in-law. Instead of doing so, it is advisable that sort out the misunderstandings and opt for a calm approach to solve your problems.
6. Your Parents Versus His Parents
There will be times when you may have to choose between your parents and your in-laws. For example, you may want to visit your parents but your in-laws may not allow you and would ask you to respect their decisions. Also, there will be times when your relatives may compare your parents and in-laws.
How To Deal With It: Instead of feeling bad about it and speaking harsh words, it is advisable that you let people know that both the families are equally important in your life. Your parents and in-laws have their own place in your heart and you can't compare them. Also, you can let in-laws know that staying away from your parents and not being able to meet them is difficult for you.
7. The Pressure Of Having Kids
As soon as you get married, your family members and relatives will ask you to have kids. They may always nudge you to start your family as soon as possible and will give you some weird reasons to have kids in a few years of your marriage.
How To Deal With It: It is better that you let your family members know that you are not ready to have kids. You can tell them that you will be having kids only when you feel like it. Also, you can discuss this matter with your husband and ask him to explain the same to your relatives and family members.
Well, there are many problems that you may face as a woman who had an arranged marriage. We advise you to tackle them in a calm manner and avoid any kind of argument.