Is It Right To Keep Secrets In A Marital Relationship?

Monday, September 19, 2011, 17:05

Is it ethical to keep secrets in a relationship? The subjectivity of of the issue expands when we come to a permanent relationship like marriage. When we promise on our wedding day that we shall everything then it is still our right to keep secrets. Actually a lot of marriage problems begin from keeping secrets. Being secretive can be interpreted in many ways too. It depends on the person's perception. So people will take secretiveness as just a issue of space and others will interpret it as signs of a cheating spouse.

However whether you can keep secrets in a relationship or not is decided mainly by the nature of that secret. Also the magnitude of its impact decides either in its favour of or against it. Here are a few example of secrets you can and cannot keep from your spouse.

Secrets You Can Keep From Your Spouse:

The actual price of your latest purchase: Women splurge on fashionable clothes and accessories; men do the same for gadgets. It is pretty much an open secret so it doesn't matter if you hide the actual damages of your binge shopping from your spouse.

A night out with friends: If your spouse is unnecessarily possessive and doesn't give you space then it is alright to hang out with friends one evening and tell her you are at work. As long as you know you are not doing anything to hurt him or her these minor liberties can be taken.

Protect hyper spouse: If you spouse gets hyper active in a crisis situation and looses self control then it is better to not give them shocking news about your job or family at once. For example if you get fired and your spouse has a anxiety disorder then don't tell her until you find another job.

Secrets You Should Not Keep In a Relationship:

Past Relationships: Never hide your past affairs from your partner. Your partner deserves to know everything about your past love life before he or she decides to marry you. It alright if you have moved on but the right to correct information still lies with your spouse.

Admit An Affair: If you have been cheating on your spouse then there is no way you can get away with it. She may not have picked up the signs of a cheating spouse but she will find out sooner or later. So tell the truth no matter what the consequences.

Your financial status: Never hide your financial status from your spouse because they are the only ones who have the right to know. If you are in deep financial trouble then they will the ones to suffer with you and also help you. If you get a promotion then you share it with your spouse too. So give them a clear picture.

These marriage tips will help you decide which secrets to keep in a relationship and which not to.