The 39 signs of drunkenness!

By Staff

Thursday, December 11, 2008, 12:46

The next time your husband turns up drunk at home but behaves as if he's not, just observe his speech and walk to make out whether he's lying or not. Bureaucrats in Australia have drawn up an official list of 39 intoxication symptoms, so that pub owners can tell when patrons are drunk.

Among the 39 steps towards drunkenness are: "bumping into furniture", "sleeping at a bar or table" and "inability to find one's mouth with a glass". The intoxication guidelines, drawn up by the New South Wales Office of Liquor and Gaming, were distributed to club and pub managers last week.

Number one on the list of 39 signs of intoxication is slurred words, followed by rambling or unintelligible conversation, reports News.com.au. Bar staff are also urged to be on the lookout for patrons fumbling change, being rude, argumentative and aggressive, and those who cannot stand or who fall down.

Club patrons seen as "overly friendly" or exuberant could also soon find themselves shown the door, as will those who vomit. If a patron fails to leave, managers have been advised to contact police in order to avoid being fined.

The department said the guidelines were drafted to help bar staff form a reasonable belief that a person is intoxicated. However, it warned that the list was neither exhaustive nor conclusive.

The 39 signs of drunkenness are:

1. Slurring words
2. Rambling or unintelligible conversation
3. Incoherent or muddled speech
4. Loss of train of thought
5. Not understanding normal conversation
6. Difficulty in paying attention
7. Unsteady on feet
8. Swaying uncontrollably
9. Staggering
10. Difficulty in walking straight
11. Cannot stand or falling down
12. Stumbling
13. Bumping into or knocking over furniture and people
14. Lack of co-ordination
15. Spilling drinks
16. Dropping drinks
17. Fumbling change
18. Difficulty counting money or paying
19. Difficulty opening doors
20. Inability to find one's mouth with a glass
21. Rudeness
22. Agression
23. Belligerent
24. Argumentative
25. Offensive
26. Bad tempered
27. Physically violent
28. Loud or boisterous
29. Confused
30. Disorderly
31. Exuberance
32. Using offensive language
33. Annoying or pestering others
34. Overly friendly
35. Loss of inhibition
36. Inappropriate sexual advances
37. Drowsiness or sleeping at a bar or table
38. Vomiting
39. Drinking rapidly