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Meeting The Right Person At The Wrong Time: What Happens Next And How To Deal With It

Nitika and Ritesh (names changed) met on a dating app during the pandemic. Both found out that they liked similar television and web shows, and loved going on treks and eating out at the same cafes in Mumbai. Their interests in reading were also the same. It seemed that Nitika had finally met 'the one', the greatest love of her life. The first day, they chatted for over 12 hours. Sending memes and gifs, the conversations later moved to calls.

They realised that they share similar ideologies and fundamentals about life as well, and talked to each other for over 5-6 hours on the call daily. Once the lockdown was relaxed, both juggled work and managed to meet each other at their favourite places. However, like all great romances and star-crossed lovers, their love story, too, was doomed.

Nitika had applied for a masters programme in Germany, and she got her acceptance letter. She soon had to move abroad, thereby ending the greatest romances she'd ever had. Nitika and Ritesh parted on a good note, saying that they would meet again. But would their paths cross again?

Sometimes, timing is really everything. Most of us spend our time navigating through life, always envisioning our 'soulmate'. Many people seem to find 'the right one' either when they are not looking for a serious commitment or are moving away or in a situation when they cannot be in a relationship.


1- Do Your Goals Align?

You must seek someone with whom you can see your goals matching. It could be materialistic or spiritual, but you need to be with someone who wants the same things in life.


2- Do Your Lifestyles Match?

A lot of times, we are drawn to people with whom we have nothing in common. It might seem like the best thing to ever happen to you, thanks to the number of rom-coms we watch, but in reality a lot of couples end up resenting one another when their lifestyles don't match.


3- Are You In It For The Long Haul?

That charismatic person you follow on social media or the one you match with on Tinder may seem just perfect to pose with for your Instagram. But are you really seeking that person for a long-term relationship? Do you really want to commit to this person? If not, then you are simply wasting their time and being unfair, as they deserve someone who wants to be in a relationship with them.


4- Will You Be Okay To Sacrifice A Lot To Be In This Relationship?

A lot of times, people end up finding a person who either stays in another town / country or someone who needs a lot more than just time and commitment to be in the relationship. Ask yourself if you can travel to another state, city or country to just be in a relationship! If you find yourself saying that this is too much investment, then maybe it isn't right for you.

The bottom line is that we do meet people who may be right for us at the time, but we are unsure about everything else for the long term. But it doesn't mean you don't value them or the time you have spent with them. Cherish every memory and never part on a bitter note. We don't need drama and toxicity in life. As corny as it may sound, nothing holds water as much as the old saying, ‘If it's meant to be, it will happen no matter what.'

Relationship expert April Masini explains to Elite Daily, "Having chemistry with someone is very different from having long-term relationship compatibility with them."

So, in a nutshell we can say that even if we are crushing on a person, not always will that turn into a full-fledged relationship. But does it mean that it isn't real? No, it can very well be real. There are several times when people find themselves attracted to people much older or younger than them. Such relationships may not be abusive, but may cause problems in the future.

There are also times when you meet someone who may be right for you than your current partner, but you don't want to cheat on or leave your partner. This, too, happens quite often. There are certain things to keep in mind before getting swept away by emotions when you think you have found the right one. Here are some points to consider.

Story first published: Tuesday, August 17, 2021, 10:00 [IST]
Read more about: relationship love romance