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Why Happiness Is An Illusion In Relationships?

By Soham

"We crave for happiness like it should be our daily bread." - A Mixed Nerve

Happiness has been our number one priority since the day we were born and will continue until the day we die. In a relationship, it is found that happiness is most sought rather than love. Running behind love makes one sick. Running behind happiness makes one sad.

Then what are we seeking, what are we after?

Happiness is a craving, it is an illusion, and a piece of ourselves that we seek in others when it comes to relationships.

We think happiness is the reason to live together. We live in this illusion where we think happiness makes us feel better. The momentary happiness is not the reason why relationships stick but various other factors also play an important role in the illusion of being happy in a relationship.

It doesn't make you feel any other kind of feelings, like the feeling of togetherness in a relationship.

Depression In Relationships

The various factors that kill happiness in a relationship are:


In every relationship we see, there is an expectation of various kinds. Thus, happiness is also expected but in the burden of all the expectation, happiness becomes an illusion. Happiness is a factual feeling that is momentary and doesn't last forever.

We work towards making our partner happy by reaching up to their expectation but forget to be happy and thus happiness is never achieved but is always dreamt of being with us.


We feel bringing upon various methods to command happiness to be with us, is a wrong concept. Our insecurities feed on our happiness and in a relationship happiness becomes a slave of insecurities leading to it becoming an illusion.

Insecurities are feelings that obliterate the happiness that we seek in a relationship. A relationship becomes a playground for insecurities to play on and the couple becomes its scoreboard. There is none but insecurities that kill the happiness in a relationship.

The relationship is all about trusting your partner and moving ahead but when there is a single point of hidden agenda, insecurities feed upon it.


Getting into a relationship and then compromising for the sake of your partner and relationship is wrong and this is where you start chopping your happiness piece by piece. There is nothing more dangerous than killing your own self in a relationship.

You might have heard everyone saying a relationship is based on compromises, but you need to believe that a compromising character kills the nature of happiness that you and your partner seek in a relationship. If you can't be yourself in the relationship you are getting into, then the happiness you seek will be a false one and the reason behind it will be only you.

Happiness is all about the way you find yourself in a relationship and not letting half of you stay behind and the other half trying to enjoy the relationship.

A relationship is not about compromising but about enjoying each second of happiness by the way you are and the way you have always been.

If you try to change this fact in a relationship, then the happiness that you find becomes just an illusion and in the same way, it becomes a lost piece of paper in a librarry full of books.

Hard Work:-

Happiness is hard earned. In a relationship, it becomes an illusion hiding beneath the hard work you do for the relationship to work. You forget the single fact that relationship just happens and stays and working for the relationship in order to show your partner that you are into this, with full force, is not a genuine commitment.

Happiness is hardly earned but it is always there only for us to find the place of its birth. Relationships are not the manufacturing unit of happiness but us. Yet, one don't understand that happiness is killed in every relationship when you work for it.

All we seek is an illusion then. Relationships showcase they are happy, but on the inner side, it is just showing the outer world an illusion. Happiness becomes the prey of relationship and lovers think happiness is residing in the art of doing a pseudo show in front of people.

To have happiness in a relationship, be yourself, respect the way you are and the way your partner is. Don't compromise for the relationship but make your partner understand how you are and do the same when it comes to understanding your partner.

Let your relationship be as wild as it can be. Float on the surface of happiness or submerge in it with your partner in a relationship.

It won't be an illusion to be happy once you understand yourself and your partner.

So, happiness is an illusion in a relationship only if you make it one.

Story first published: Monday, April 2, 2018, 11:07 [IST]