Stella always had a problem when it came to her boyfriend. Scared of what he might do to her when she went out with friends, 23-year-old Stella would think a million times to let her boyfriend know about her whereabouts.
There were times when her boyfriend would literally lock her in the house, keeping her away from her friends fearing that he will lose her one day to another man.
But, it so happened that he did lose her. Stella found a way out of this relationship and today she is happy to be single waiting patiently if ever the man of her dreams would knock on the door of her heart.
Here are some life-saving ways to help you realize if you are a victim of a controlling relationship or not.
Beware Of A Controlling Relationship
There will be times when you see him looking at you in a particular way, trying to figure out if you are telling him the truth. This suggests he is insecure and is not being able to trust the fact that you are the one telling the truth. In order to pour out the truth, they will make you undergo domestic violence.
Trust is the key to every relationship having a stand of its own and without it, the relationship always fails. Insecurity, doubts, anger, etc., all rush through the door and enter into the relationship, killing the essence of it.
2. Self Interest
This is one common sign you would see in a controlling relationship. The man always puts himself before his girlfriend. When Stella explained to her loved one about her new job, he did not praise her in any way, neither did he encourage or congratulate her. He spoke about his career and how important it was in the relationship. His money mattered and superiority issues also came up, thus putting Stella down!
If you are seeing your man doing something similar, you need to know a fact that this relationship is not for you and you need to let go of it as soon as possible.
3. Craving For Freedom
There is always a sense of wanting freedom in the relationship. If you are living in a state where your life is barred, then you are most definitely in a controlling relationship. We live in a country where everyone has their own rights and your partner has no upper hand in suppressing it.
Your freedom is yours and none can control it. The relationship is about having each other and not suppressing each other. If your partner is suppressing you and you have no freedom, it is better to end the relationship right away, rather than being dragged along for a longer time.
One thing that Stella feared in her controlling relationship was a public embarrassment. There was once a time when she and her lover went out for a movie along with friends and watching the emotional romantic movie, Stella began to cry. Her lover felt embarrassed by this and began to insult Stella, making her cry again. Like these cases, there are many lovers in controlling relationships who embarrass their partners directly or indirectly.
They constantly criticise you saying you need to be better. It is wrong. It might seem all okay to you, but it is not.
They will make sure to bring out some kind of a flaw to let you know the fact of improving. These statements that they put might not seem as criticism in fair sound, but they always tend to be. You need to look into the details and not overlook such statements that criticise you. If it persists, then you better run from such a relationship.
6. They talk about protecting you
If they mention every time you are out for some work or to meet friends or for that matter shopping, they will keep a track of you and when you reach home, they will let you know that they were troubled, for which they kept calling to check up on you.
You need to walk away from such a relationship. They aren't protecting you, but they are blocking your personal space.
These are some of the signs one would see in a controlling relationship. Beware, if you are facing these signs and let go before it is too late.