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In the year 1994, an American mystery-thriller movie named 'Gaslight' was released. The movie pictured a man trying to manipulate his wife about her perspective and judgements. He told her that she was going insane.
Well, that was a movie and the characters were fictional but gaslighters actually exist in this world. Who are they?
Gaslighters are the people who manipulate others to doubt their perspectives and identity. At first, they will lead the victim down and wait for the victim's response. Once the victim responds or reacts, the gaslighters will attack and manipulate the judgement of the victim. At last, the victim starts believing that his/her judgement is wrong or something is wrong in him/her.
This way, gaslighters create an inequitable impact on their partner and on the relationship. They try to control the mind of their victims with unreasonable facts. Gaslighting is no less than a brainwashing, emotional abuse and psychological bullying.
In relationships, sometimes people might go through gaslighting actions but are unaware of the definition of the term.
So we have listed some signs that tell about the ways in which gaslighters manipulate and control the relationships.
1. They Tell Persistent Lies
One of the most strident gaslighting actions is telling lies by inventing false narrations. Gaslighters will give you false information that can make you upset and will hurt you emotionally. Their motto is to brainwash, disempower, discredit and belittle their victims.
Not only this, but they will also tell you that other people are lying to you even if there is no such thing. Instead of using any facts and evidence, the gaslighters will make assertions based on blatant lies. They do so to control the relationship and win the conversation.
2. They Will Often Deny
Even if you present evidence against the gaslighters' wrong actions or lies, they will seize the conversation by denying them. They can easily turn the truth and will change the subject. In the end, you will be made to believe that you are wrong or had a misunderstanding.
For example, you caught your boyfriend who is a gaslighter, flirting with other girls. Even if you confront him for the same, he will tell you there is no such thing.
3. They Repeat Their Actions
Similar to psychological warfare, gaslighters often repeat their falsehood so that they can seize the conversation, control their partners and dominate the relationship. They will lie to you often and will always try to gain control over your mind.
4. They Wear You Down
Gaslighters never do things all of a sudden. Their actions are quite slow and therefore, you won't be able to notice their offensive behaviour. They will slowly discourage you and will make you think you are not good enough.
In their company, you will slowly turn out to be a pessimistic, self-doubting and debilitated person. You will begin to question your own identity and perception.
5. They Make You Believe You Are Wrong
No matter how great your work is, gaslighters will leave no chance to tell you that your work is not good and you are good for nothing. They won't appreciate your efforts and hard work. They will do this repeatedly until you start considering yourself incapable of doing things.
6. They Will Confuse You
Gaslighters are quite good at confusing people. They will tell you how sorry they are for their actions and they love you so dearly. They will also appreciate your effort only to criticise you the next time. In such scenarios, it gets confusing for people to understand them and their intentions.
7. They Will Give You False Hope
Giving false hope is one of the most used tactics of gaslighters. They will treat you politely and with superficial kindness. At times, you will find their behaviour to be mild and caring. They will tell you, "I'll change my behaviour," "I'll give my best in this relationship."
But these all are meant to give you false hope. You might think, "he is not that bad," "maybe the things will go better," "let us give another chance to this relationship." But at last, you get betrayed.
8. They Will Use Your Weaknesses Against You
Once the gaslighters come to know about your weaknesses, they will use them against you. Even if you are confused about certain things, the gaslighters will use this as a powerful weapon to gain control over your thoughts and perception. Moreover, being criticised by someone (gaslighters) who is close to you, will make you believe them and doubt yourself.
9. They Isolate You From People You Love
Gaslighters will do anything to isolate you from your family and friends. They might create some misunderstanding between you and your folks. A time will come when you will perceive your family and friends to be against you as the gaslighters will be controlling you. Gaslighters will make sure you need them more and thus, they will be able to manipulate you.
The issue is not that gaslighters exist in this world and play mind games. The issue is that you allow being treated in the wrong way. If you think you are going through gaslighting, find yourself a suitable and happy relationship. Gaslighting is not a way to treat a human and no one should go through this.