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Relationships are complicated but love is a very simple phenomenon. Then what makes us perceive relationships as draining experiences? Well, that is because of lack of understanding and love. But does true love exist? Or is it just in the movies?
Does Unconditional Love Exist?
In fact, love is above all conditions. When there are conditions, it isn't love. So, by its very nature, love is supposed to be unconditional.
Can We Expect Unconditional Love In Relationships?
Well, no. Expecting your partner to keep the heart open all the time isn't realistic. In fact, it is quite natural for any of us to lose the ability to love unconditionally at least in certain situations.
As human beings, we cannot consistently show unconditional love towards our own selves all the time. So, how can we show unconditional love towards fellow human beings all the time?
Does That Matter?
It doesn't matter. In relationships, the objective is to try to love as much as possible without expecting to be loved. So, we can always keep trying to offer unconditional love to our partners in spite of occasional failures.
What Happens In Relationships?
As human beings, we tend to have various 'aspects of personality'. Some of them are pleasant to others and some of them aren't. When a person is in love with you, he or she likes the good side of your personalty and can tolerate the bad side of your personalty. That is what acceptance is about.
Then What Spoils Relationships
Expecting others to love even the bad aspects of your personality in the name of unconditional love isn't realistic. Your loved one can tolerate the bad side of your personality but it doesn't mean he or she is in love with those areas too.
What Happens With Expectations?
Firstly, you tend to feel hurt. You fail to digest the fact that your partner need not love your bad side. Simply accepting your bad side or tolerating it is enough for the relationship to thrive.
With hurt comes control into the picture. You will feel like controlling that person to love you. At that point the beauty of the relationship will be gone forever.
With hurt and failure to control the other person comes low self-esteem. It always makes you feel that you aren't being loved enough for what you are. In fact, that is another form of not being able to love yourself unconditionally.
After all those stages are over, ego is another aspect that can spoil even unconditional love. When a breakup occurs, the person who takes the first step to patch it up is the winner. But soon after a fight, your ego makes you think that the other person has to patch up.
Your ego tells you that you are greater than anybody. So, you cut all communication as if your loved one is your enemy. When you lose the capability of unconditional love, expecting your partner to love you unconditionally is foolish, right?
So, does unconditional love exist? The answer is both yes and no! Yes- if you have the capacity to love yourself and everyone all the time. No- if you fail to love yourself and others.