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'How Are You' Is The Most Useless Three Words According To Researchers; Read
Apparently, according to science, it's no longer cool to say, 'how are you,' to someone. According to The Harvard Study of Communications, a first impression is formed within seven seconds, so asking how you are may not be in our best interests. A study was conducted to investigate how successful people make small talk. It was found that the best way to make the most of small talk is to ask the other person follow-up questions [1].
'How Are You' Is The Most Useless Three Words: Why?
An analysis of over 300 online conversations by researchers found that those who were asked more meaningful follow-up questions such as questions other than "how are you?" and "what do you do?" rated the other party as more likeable.
Here are the interesting findings from the study:
- In research, it has been shown that five minutes of chit-chat before a negotiation increases the value of the negotiation.
- A further point highlighted in the research is the importance of being enthusiastic and energetic at the onset of the meeting. It does not mean being dominant but genuinely pleasing to meet the other person.
- The study indicates that the more questions you ask beyond those initial seven seconds of meeting the person, the more likely you will be liked. This applies both to the initial exchanges of small talk and to the content of the meeting.
- Meaningful follow-up questions leave a particularly positive impression, perhaps because they demonstrate that you genuinely listen rather than simply repeating pre-prepared questions [2].
- In addition to finding that it only takes seven seconds to make a first impression, they also found that, on average, it takes seven more meetings with the same person before you can change that impression.
"When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation and care," the researchers wrote [3].
On A Final Note...
Regardless of what you say, your tone of voice, facial expression, and eye contact will convey far more information than any words you use. You should look at the other person when you speak in person, not at the conference table or the wall. Smiling will make your voice sound warmer when you are on the phone. Remember - how you say something is more important than what you say.
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