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Things You Need To Clear With Your Would-Be Mother-In-Law

Worrying about your dreams after marriage? There are certain things you need to do before you marry the guy either you fell in love with or arranged for you. One of the main things to do is having a clear concept of what your mother-in-law wants from you. It is true that marriage is between families and not between the couple itself. Keeping in-laws happy in the relationship is the biggest task for any daughter-in-law.

The discussion before marriage is always within the groom and bride. No one really makes an effort to make the bride be comfortable with her future MIL. There are certain points that she normally has and wants to convey to her future MIL. But it never happens.

things you need to clear

Having a chance to talk and express the views and wishes about yourself with your future MIL takes you another level higher of bonding with your in-laws.

Your future MIL gets to know what you desperately seek as a person and you become clear about what you want. There comes no hindrance, as you have already talked about what you desire after marriage.

To understand what all you need to discuss when having a conversation with your future MIL, I have curated a list of things to discuss about.

Let's go through the list to understand your ground and where you stand better.

1. Your way of life

You should let your future MIL know about the way you lead your life on an everyday basis. A healthy relationship with the in-laws requires both sides to have an understanding of each other. Knowing about your current lifestyle and the life you are expecting after marriage, it makes your in-laws understand what kind of a person you are. It is always a good idea.

You can have a healthy discussion of what all you can do after you are back from your office. Tell your mother-in-law your affinity towards cooking but your work comes first and how can you assist in the household works. Be open and have an honest discussion. This conversation will help you know what your future MIL is expecting from you. This conversation will help you both to have a mutual agreement with each other.

2. Your independence

Whatever is your wish to be after your marriage, discuss it with your in-laws. Talk about your independence and your desires after marriage. Tell them about your wishes to work or be a housewife.

Talk about the career you want post marriage. Talk about the debts you have taken and when you need to clear them. It is okay to let your future in-laws know about your debts if there are any. They might help in providing financial help if needed. Ask them about their financial stability. It is always good to be open and talk about these factors.

It eases the trouble after marriage. You get to know what your in-laws are seeking and they get to know about your independence in life.

3. Family planning

Have a conversation, an honest one, with your in-laws, especially with your mother-in-law. Talk about your family planning with them. Do not get into the details but expressing your views on family planning goes a long way in letting your in-laws be certain about your idea of family planning.

Talk to them about the time when you are planning on having children, your definite views about adoption, if you want to adopt a child and is it okay with them and all the things that are concerning for them from their point of view.

Having such a discussion leads to a better view of what lies ahead after marriage.

Be open to their reasons, be polite and subtle while having such conversations. It is beautiful to have a healthy conversation than to just put your beliefs in front of them and want them to understand.

4. Responsibilities

It is really important to discuss the household works that you can do and contribute your hands in, to help the family. Marriages bring up a lot of responsibilities and these include handling the works of the entire house, catering to the needs of each and every individual. It is always good to let your mother-in-law know beforehand about the works you can do and the ones you can't and where all it is necessary to hire a maid.

This small discussion matters and it helps you in handling your responsibility well. Do not try to impress your mother-in-law by committing to something that later you will regret. Be subtle and open to letting them know the things you can do after the marriage.

5. Your religious beliefs

Have a conversation about your religious beliefs. Be open about the way you feel religion is and share it with them. You should have clarity about your religious beliefs and the religious beliefs of your in-laws.

These are the certain points you need to bring on to the table of discussion with your in-laws before marriage. Your mother-in-law should know about the factors related to your life and how you lead it and you should know about theirs.

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    Story first published: Monday, May 7, 2018, 14:45 [IST]
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