How Daughter-In-Law Can Adjust In A Joint Family

By Pooja Kaushal

Wednesday, January 21, 2015, 9:53 [IST]

Gone are the days of the joint family when 10 to 15 family members stayed under one roof. For those who have lived in a joint family, there are no words to describe the experience. But to survive in such a set-up, you must know how to adjust in a joint family. As the daughter-in-law in joint family, you've to shoulder many responsibilities.

A joint family, or shall we call it an extended family, has benefits that can help solve many behavioural problems in today’s children. It brings about tolerance in adults as well as one has to understand the feelings and problems of others. One is never alone and be it good times or bad times, there is always someone to share emotions and moments with.

For someone who is born and brought up in a joint family, adjusting is no big issue. In fact, the joint set-up becomes a way of life. Things can be different for a daughter-in-law in a joint family. Whether she comes from a nuclear family or a joint family, she will have to face challenges because she will be moving into a house with multiple members.

How daughter-in-law can adjust in a joint family

She will have to understand each one and act accordingly. It is very important for you to play your cards with care. Take a look at some tips on how to adjust in a joint family.

Respect relatives: First and foremost, show respect to all the relatives. You may have heard things about each one but do not go by those notions. You would have to trust your instincts and act accordingly. Be respectful towards the elders and loving towards the children.

Stay away from gossip: A joint family is a family drama in itself. There is bound to be gossip and chatter. As a new member of the family, steer clear of all such gossip. Even if someone says anything to you, do not pass it on. Keep it to yourself.

Weigh you words: One of the key points on how to adjust in a joint family is to weigh every word you say. There are various people with multiple attitudes. You do not know who feels what and how each statement will be received. Maintain a neutral stand towards all.

Never complain: When there are close to 10 people staying together, clashes and misunderstandings may occur. Try not to complain. A complaining attitude will only speak bad of you and you will do more harm to yourself. On the contrary, try to understand the situation and act as required.

Understand responsibilities: A large family will have many responsibilities to be fulfilled. As a member of the family, understand yours and make every effort to fulfill them. If the need arises, you can go out of your way to do things for others. You are part of the family and whatever you do is for the good of all.

Maintain helping attitude: When you help others, you get help in return. Besides, it also keeps your own conscience clear. Remember that you are not living in solitude.

Maintain healthy relationship: Quarrels are part and parcel of every family. That does not mean that you stop talking to a particular member. That further leads to souring of relationships and may eventually lead to a breakup in the family. Believe it or not, it is the daughter-in-law in a joint family that keeps the family together. And you could be the one doing it.