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5 Reasons To Delay Intimacy In Arranged Marriages

By Anirudh Narayanan

Arranged marriages have been around for a long time. To be precise, it is said to have originated during the Vedic period of Indian history. It was incorporated into the Hindu religion soon enough. The Hindus called it Sarira Samskara, which literally meant "sacraments sanctifying the body"! Disturbingly, it goes on to describe it as "an act every man or woman should undergo at an appropriate age".

But who decides upon the "appropriate age" for intimacy in an arranged marriage, where the concerned people don't even know each other? This should be best left to individuals to decide when they are ready for it.

There's no denying that arranged marriages do work. But some do fail. This article isn't a war cry against Hinduism or the Vedics. It just aims to bring the married couple a lot closer and the transition from being a total stranger to being a real couple.

Intimacy In An Arranged Marriage

The "appropriate age" would not be that which the family or the society thinks is right. So what's the appropriate age? Well, that is left to each individual's personal interpretation.

Take your time and figure it out. So let's read on and find out why you should delay intimacy in an arranged marriage.

1. Safe and secure: Arranged marriages are particularly difficult for the woman. She is just asked to walk into a guy's life, mostly without knowing anything about him. It is somewhat similar to the Stockholm syndrome in a weird way! What a girl really requires is to feel safe and secure in the new environment. This is exactly why you should delay intimacy in a relationship. So don't pressurise her to consummate the relationship as soon as you get married. This is one of the important arranged marriage tips for a successful relationship.

2. Something meaningful: People get married so that they can make their life much more meaningful. We make promises of love and assurances of being together forever while getting married. But it would be a gross violation of her love and trust if the guy is hell bent on just making her pregnant for the sake of his parents or other folks. Marriages need to break away from the societal pressures and stop being just a ploy to prove one's manhood or bring another life onto this earth just for the sake of it! Intimacy in an arranged marriage is a decision that the husband and wife make when they are comfortable enough to take it to the next level. It should be best left to them. Arranged marriage tips suggest you to allow things to take its own course.

3. Higher satisfaction and no regrets: Let's admit that arranged marriages are pretty awkward to start with and then there's the dreaded "First Night" where you basically make love with a stranger! This is another reason as to why you should delay intimacy in an arranged marriage. It's strongly advisable that you get to know each other well before goofing around. Studies show that couples who love each other before committing to make love have a higher amount of satisfaction and little or no regret later.

Intimacy In An Arranged Marriage | Why To Delay Intimacy | Arranged Marriage Problems

4. Unplanned surprises: Intimacy is a good thing but in an arranged marriage, lack of proper understanding might lead to some unplanned surprises. Babies are a big deal! A newborn needs a lot of love, care and support. Your responsibility increases manifold! Responsibilities, when shared, don't exactly seem troublesome but when your partner isn't ready to share them, negatives of arranged marriages start piling up. So, don't do something that you'll probably regret. Wait for the right time to bring your bundle of joy into this beautiful world.

5. Long and healthy relationship: In the end, it all comes down to a long and healthy relationship. There's are no secret tips on how to make an arranged marriage work. It is hard work, but then, what isn't? Everyone craves for love and affection. That can never be achieved if you force yourself upon her. Make it meaningful by doing things together. This way you'll know each other better and eventually love will blossom. Work on your negatives, stay positive and see how your arranged marriage works out for you. This is one of the prominent reasons as to why you should delay intimacy in an arranged marriage.