Camouflaged Forms Of Dowry In Marriage

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Dowry (Daughter's Own Wealth Released to You) is the most dreaded and surprisingly accepted word in Indian marriages. Irrespective of women's movement and newly imposed laws, the phenomena of dowry still keeps its prominence in marital relationships. Let us analyze the new faces of dowry in Indian marriages.

What will be your reaction when someone ask your opinion about dowry in public? If you are a bachelor, your response may go like this " Dowry! There is no need of dowry for me. I have the capability to look after my wife and children. If her parents gift her something, it is for her only." Here goes the comment of a modern beauty " Why should I give dowry to someone? I am independent and never trust in these old rituals."

In contemporary Indian society, parents are expected to follow the footsteps of their children. When someone asks about the dowry for their son, an immediate reply comes "Are you making fun of us? We only need a good life partner for our son. We won't even look at her attributes if; if our son likes her."

The girl's parents will have another viewpoint "Whatever we have is for our children. Our daughter is not priceless. So why should add more price to her with dowry?"

Let us look at these comments and the situations in real life. The prospective groom may be so gentle to point his monetary expectations to his spouse. However he will never fail to point out the magnanimous pocket money that his friend received in marriage. The girl may suddenly shift from the bold view points to traditional realms during this courtship period. She will be only proud to appreciate the heavy bank account and the diamond Jewellery that her parents gift to her.

Parents of the prospective couple shift to their traditional views as the marriage approaches. The bride's parents may invite the groom's family for a casual visit , to display the wealth they have accumulated for their daughter. If there is no positive sign of dowry from the prospective bride's side, the groom's side will slowly start to list out the pocket money that they have given to their daughters.

Dowry has thus become a hassle and inevitable part of contemporary Indian marriages in its new camouflaged form. Even if the initial restraints are there, the girl's side pay a huge pocket money(In certain cases from her own salary account) to the son-in-law to ensure a safe life for their daughter. The recent appearance of dowry harassment in the camouflaged forms of extra marital affairs and ego clashes also make the parents alert towards the pocket money system.

There are no laws to curtail these camouflaged forms of dowry in Indian society. The change must essentially come from the minds of the couple who enter into the marriage. Until then this strong rooted phenomena will appear in more attractive masks in marital relationships.

Afterthought : Is dowry (pocket money) a bad ritual in Indian marriage? In a society where sons are more acceptable than girls, why cannot girls enjoy the ancestral property in the form of dowry?