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Truth About Compatibility In A Relationship

By Vamini Bhatia

Compatibility isn't just two people being in love. It isn't about those butterflies in your stomach before going on a date. It isn't about the great sex. It isn't about you willing to go above and beyond to make them happy. Compatibility is a feeling of belonging, a sense of togetherness.

If you're attracted to someone whom you have nothing in common with, and all that excites you is the hanky-panky, after which none of you likes to stay, here's something you need to know - once the honeymoon period wears off, you're going to be left with literally nothing. Don't get us wrong, we don't mean all committed couples are compatible either. Compatibility, commitment and love are completely different things.

Compatibility In A Relationship

Checking your compatibility before you tie the knot is extremely important. You guys could be crazy in love but if you don't have compatibility, your relationship is certainly going to be short-lived.

This is why dating plays a major role. In the beginning, when you are starting to know each other, you hide your demons and portray the best side of you. When you start spending more time with them, it is when you start to see and accept them for who they really are. The guard goes down and you stop hiding behind a mask.

What are the signs you have to keep an eye on to see if you're compatible with someone?

1. Things In Common

1. Things In Common

You might have heard love stories about how a wanderer fell in love with a traveller on a trekking trip. For you to be compatible with someone does not mean having the same profession but to meet at a common point, that gets you both closer. It's okay to spend Saturday nights going out with your mutual friends, but what matters is when you spend the nights alone, is there something common you both enjoy? Like watching a football match or binge-watching a favourite series on Netflix or just cooking and enjoying a tasteful meal?

2. Money Matters

2. Money Matters

Love isn't enough to fill our stomach. You can either agree or disagree with this statement. What's to see is that if your partner has the same perspective. Also, being on the same page about the budget for - travelling, shopping and even primary things like grocery, savings are important.

3. Being There For Each Other

3. Being There For Each Other

How you handle the other person's stress plays a major role in your relationship. The way you react when they're upset about a mere problem like losing a football match, having a rough day at work or a more difficult situation like getting fired at work or an illness, is what defines your relationship. Knowing that what works for you might not work for your loved one, understanding how they want to be handled during times like these is important. For example, your partner would like to be constantly reminded that you're there for him during his rough time while you, on the other hand, would want to spend some time alone during a crisis.

4. Fights

4. Fights

Which relationship does not have fights? Fighting is one of the things that come in the relationship hamper. None, and we mean not even the strongest relationships have been able to dodge this bullet. But well, all that's there in your hand is to not let the fights get ugly. It's how you handle conflicts that matters. The worst thing you can do during a fight, other than turning things ugly is hiding the problems. Avoiding issues or being a procrastinator at solving them can be very harmful to the relationship. This will just stack up issues in your head and when the time comes, which sure will, things will come to an end.

5. Feeling Secure

5. Feeling Secure

If you don't feel secure in a relationship, it's better to pack up your bag and put a full stop to your relationship. Relationships are supposed to make you feel like home, and if you don't feel safe at home, well, what's the point? If you are doubtful about a relationship, leave. If they make you feel less about yourself, leave. If you feel like you're losing yourself, leave. If you don't feel secure, leave.

Story first published: Friday, February 1, 2019, 17:44 [IST]