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When Is The Right Time To Settle Down For Marriage?

By Shatavisha Chakravorty

Marriage, as they say, is the union of two souls. However, the fact remains that marriage is a much more practical issue and it requires due planning. The planning ranges from the practical aspects to the more emotional and sexual aspects as well.

Indeed, for the two genders, marriage means two completely different things. For the girl, it is about giving up her family, her choices (to the extent of even her name) and moving in with her life partner.

when is the right time to settle down for marriage

For the guy, it is all about bidding adieu to his carefree bachelor days and taking up responsibility for not just himself but also his better half. Thus, needless to say, it requires a lot of sacrifices on both their parts and a lot more compromises.

The same compromises that look like a cake walk at some point in life may not seem so otherwise. That is why, it is all the way more important to plan the timing of your marriage appropriately.

Now, it is a well-accepted fact that some people reach a certain level of maturity earlier than the others and vice versa. Thus, it is difficult to have a one-stop solution or a definite age at which one must marry.

In order to decide that, a lot of other factors come into play, the most important of which are discussed below. Take a look.

1. Career Aspirations

This is true in the case of the girl. It is very difficult to start a career after marriage. If you have already reached a certain level of stability, you can always pick up from where you left off. As for example, if you are working in an IT company and you need to shift to a new city after marriage, you can always look for a job there. However, if you want to start a career in fashion designing and want to do the elementary courses in this field after your marriage, it might not be a very good idea. Make a head-start in your career and only then think of marriage.

2. Financial Stability

This is a point that is more applicable to men. On marriage, it is expected that you will be the main breadwinner of the family. So, before you settle down for marriage, make sure that what you earn is enough to run a family. A family that has financial crunches every now and then cannot be a very happy family. If you need to delay your marriage by a couple of years in order to attain that level of financial stability, so be it. Trust me, this is a decision that you will not regret.

3. Identify The Right Time Based On Your Career

Depending on the career that you choose, you will start earning at different stages. Ideally, an engineer starts earning at 22, a lawyer at 24 and a doctor at 27. Other careers have their own thresholds. Once you start earning, work for 3-4 years (in the case of a girl) or 5-6 years (in the case of the guy) and then exchange the vows of marriage. That way, both of you will be well settled on the professional front and will be able to focus on your personal life when you finally marry each other.

4. Plan Your Retirement

This might sound absurd to someone in his 20's looking for a happy conjugal life, but the fact is this is something that you must plan. The average life expectancy in India is about 69 years (to make things more accurate, you can consider taking up the average life expectancy of your family in the last 2-3 generations; life expectancy runs in the family).

So, if you want to enjoy a decade of slow and retired life, you must retire at 59. To be able to do so, you must have your children earning and settled by then. Assuming most people are earning well enough by 25, you must conceive your child in your early 30's. Thus, if you want to enjoy a few years as a couple before taking on all these responsibilities, the ideal time to marry would be in your late 20's. However, when you plan to retire is purely subjective and this decision and planning must be taken at the personal level.

5. Think Beyond Having Kids

When we talk of marriage, what most people think of is producing kids. But marriage is way more than just that. Yes, most marriages do have kids. However, the fact is the kids you produce will one day grow up and go out of their nestlings. There will be your marriage before the kids came to the picture; there will be the marriage after they leave. Hence, when you plan your marriage and try to arrive at the right time to settle down does not narrow it down to planning kids alone.

6. It Is Never Too Early

Sometimes, you just know that you have met your perfect soul mate. In that case, if both of you want to get bound in the holy matrimony of marriage; there is nothing that should stop you from it. Remember that if you have your priorities sorted and have a supportive partner, there is nothing that can stop you from reaching your dreams, even after your marriage. Marriage is never a hindrance to your dreams, and if it becomes one, it's time you reconsider your marriage itself.

7. Do Not Give In To Societal Pressures

Just because all your cousins are getting married, it does not mean that you have to as well. Your grandpa who is on his deathbed does not have the right to demand the same from you. Remember if you marry and settle down just to please someone else, you will never be happy and this will result in a greater number of fights between you and your partner and pave the way for a lifetime of unhappiness. Make sure you dodge your way through this.

Read more about: marriage
Story first published: Sunday, March 25, 2018, 12:00 [IST]
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