Does Your Relationship Have Comfortable Silences?

Monday, August 1, 2011, 17:26

Comfortable silence can be the determining factor in a long lasting relationship. Silence in a relationship often speaks louder than words. However we are not talking about forced silence or angry silence here. Comfortable silence signifies space in a relationship. It means that both partners are totally comfortable with each other and there is comparability in the relationship.

What is the need for Silence in a Relationship?

Words are not always necessary to convey an emotion. Often absence of words can mean more than the words themselves. If a couple can find peace with each other without the constant need to speak or spell out each and every emotion verbally, then they have a compatible relationship.

Distinguished author Dorris Lessing had famously written that 'often we find words thinning compared to the density of human experience'. The emotions conveyed through silence are much deeper than the ones spoken aloud. This is a piece of relationship advice that will never fail you.

Silence in a relationship is heavy with shared meaning.

Comfortable silences are pivotal in ensuring space in a relationship. If means that a couple can have shared time together while they are pursuing their own interests. Often we come across elderly couple on a holiday. One them may be lying on a hammock reading a book and the other may be listening to music. They may be doing different things silently but they are in perfect communion with each other.

When does 'Comfortable Silence' come into a Relationship?

This concept becomes applicable to a relationship only when it is a mature one. It is impracticable to apply it to a new couple because the couple is still getting to know each other. Moreover they have millions of things to say to each other and bursting with emotions.

It takes many years of togetherness to reach the stage where silence is required in a relationship.

Space in a relationship is required at some stage. This is the time that silence in your relationship has to come in and allow both partners to have their own personal time within their shared time.

What to do if your Relationship does not have Comfortable Silences?

Firstly, you have to give your relationship time and lots of commitment. You if spend little time together then all your time will be spent in sharing important messages. This often happens to professionally busy couples.

If you have a talkative partner then you have to make sure you make him/her understand the importance to communicating through silence. They should not misunderstand your silence as coldness.

If you have awkward silences in your relationship then it means that you don't trust each other enough or you are probably hiding something from your partner. Work on trust building exercises and your silences might become comfortable.