Be a confident lover: Get rid of rejection fear

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"The idea of love is romantic. However being in love is not so romantic." One of my friends told me while discussing her 7 years of love relationship. I was just wondering what prompted her to tell so. Later when I fell in love, I realized that there is a sense of fear that clouds all the pleasure that we derive from a love relationship. That fear is nothing other than the fear of rejection!

As far as I realized, nobody can withstand a sense of rejection even from a least cared person. In that case just imagine your most loved person rejecting you in a fine morning. This fear will be hidden in your mind as you enter a relationship. If not detected and controlled properly this fear will also grow with your relationship developing unhealthy habits of possessiveness, suspicion or jealousy and finally bringing that dreadful moment of rejection from your lover.

When I started my love relationship, my sweetheart was suffering a trauma that he had got from the first and worst rejection in his life. On the other hand I had already gone through many rejections not only in relationships but also in other areas of my life. He was scared to commit his relationship for quite a long time in fear of rejection from my side. I took a nonchalant position and never cared for his may be rejection to me. However time took off the rejection fears from his mind and we ended up in a happy relationship.

There is one thing that sustains a love relationship apart from the trust, care and the intimacy between the lovers. It is the confidence of each person in themselves. If at any point in your love relationship, you start comparing yourself with your lover and find out your position low, your ego will be punched. This is a major cause for rejection fear and you will immediately start impressing your lover that would simultaneously lower your dignity. You must realize that there is no need to worry what your lover is thinking about you. She/he must have the same fears if you are in a true relationship.

You shouldn't compare your previous rejections with present situations for anticipating rejection. Always be open to express your emotions and fears to your sweetheart. However never nag her/him demanding proof for their love and trust. There will be weak point in everyone's life and you lover may also express her/ his fears to you. Be a powerful anchor for her/his emotions and fears as you wish them to be for you. If you have confidence in your caliber and can transmit this confidence to your lover, the relationship will remain healthy.

If you get rejected even after all these precautions, never loose your heart. You may not have rejected for your faults, but their own faults. It is always better to be alone than in love with a person of wrong choice. Always trust in yourself and you will definitely find a true partner destined for you.