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Effective Parenting: Therapy Worthy Things To Do As A Parent For Kids, 10 Techniques
"Science shows that life is a story for which the beginning sets the tone. That makes the early years of childhood a time of great opportunity, but also great risk. Children's brains are built, moment by moment, as they interact with their environments. In the first few years of life, more than one million neural connections are formed each second - a pace never repeated again. The quality of a child's early experiences makes a critical difference as their brains develop, providing either strong or weak foundations for learning, health and behaviour throughout life." -UNICEF
Whatever a child goes through during the first years of their life will define a lot of their behaviour. Therefore, sometimes, in extreme and harmful environments, a child has difficulties in their adult life. They learn, through therapy, that their problems relate back to childhood experiences.
I have grown up in a traditional and Authoritarian parenting style where discipline was quite high. We were supposed to toe the line and often the work stress of our parents will trickle over our home environment dictating the need to be quiet , more agreeable. Through therapy as an adult , I realised lot of behaviour specially this acute perception of my partner's moods and need to modify home environment came from there. Discussions and dialogues with various friends led me inferring, a rather generalist conclusion, how we deal or not deal with issues go down to our childhood & hence to our Parents?
Now that I have a toddler who just like a regular hell raiser toddler pushes ALL my buttons. Sometimes I give into those triggers which results in screaming and ends with either one of us or both of us in tears ... Those are the times I know Yes this is going to make to my child's therapy!! Bravo he will always remember me, not talk to me or want a relationship but boy won't he always think of ME?
This in turn led me to enlist various things that you can do as a Parent to make it your Child's Therapy:
1.Spanking
Duh, a no brainer. Give that little developing baby a whack or two. Don't even consider thinking from the little one's point of view and stage of development. How dare he/she not listen to you or worse misbehaved? Nothing feels better than letting go of all that rage. Hurray, you my friend have made an imprint on his/her life forever. The little one will carry that trauma and fear forever. If he/she chooses to heal and go for therapy for his/her anger issues it will most certainly boil down to YOU!!
2.Emotional Abuse
So let's not hit the child but throw things in fit of rage and in response to their toddler tantrums (yes, this early, why wait). Create this general fear that someday the bottle will not hit the wall, but, you the little one and also normalise this for the child. When you are triggered throw things, punch a wall- after all they are just things. In the therapy they will learn fight, flight or freeze response that they have chosen as a survival instinct.
3.Be an absent parent
Ah make them crave your presence and attention. Let them work for it. After all you are quite important and your off spring needs to learn early on. As an adult they may choose to go for therapy to understand why are they SOOO needy?
4.Over Protect
No sensory play, that can lead to allergies, and What if they eat that? Oh God, the horror!! There is danger crawling everywhere hence dear baby you don't crawl. Stay at home where everything is out of reach. No exposure, Nada, ZERO. After all it is our job to protect them even if it means they don't learn or play. Therapy for fear and social anxiety may or may not help when they grow up.
5.Be emotionally overwhelmed
Unburden all your difficult emotions onto them. They are responsible for half of them. You as a parent have zero accountability for your behaviour, they do. And if you and your partner are having a tiff, the child should know and hate the partner at that moment. They can also learn to take care of you after all how will they learn to be kind. Emotional dumping is for their own good. Therapy for boundary setting and how to not let anyone emotionally over burden can be considered.
6.Hug anyone and everyone I say
-From toddlerhood teach them they should always hug/kiss everyone even if they don't feel like. After all an adult in that interaction can get upset and not handle their emotions while a child should have a handle on his/her. Therapy for boundary setting and consent can be sorted.
7.No real conversations
Make sure dinner time conversations or any conversation with your child is with you being busy on your phone. After all your social life is happening. Important thing is you have asked your child if he/she is ok and they have replied in affirmative. This one is sneaky the child as an adult may seek therapy to work on his/her relationships, if the therapist is sharp, the parent may feature after two or three sessions.
8. Don't let them release their emotions
Boys don't cry, and Girls don't like cars. Gender stereotypes should be followed. Also, teach them only to be happy and to hide every other emotion. Vulnerability is for the weak. Wait for your emotions to stew. Push them so down that you can be numb. Just be happy always. Toxic positivity always works. Ah the things a therapist will have to unravel but don't worry, you- the Parent will feature.
9.Nitpicking and Constant Comparisons
They should always know "Sharma Uncle ka baccha" is so much better than them. They can never be good enough. Negative reinforcement is the fuel for becoming better. Always ignore the efforts and only focus on the result. Who cares about the effort, it's the result that counts. They should grow into this ultra-competitive person and always WIN (like actually win get-the-trophy-win)
10. Permissive Parenting
Let
them
do
whatever
they
want.
All
the
time
give
in
to
their
demands.
The
World
should
revolve
around
them.
They
should
grow
up
to
become
entitled
brats.
So,
when
they
grow
up
to
adult-hood-They
will
learn
no
boundaries
with
zero
empathy.
Narcissism
can
be
dealt
through
therapies
and
you
know
where
it
all
began!!
From
you,
yes
you
know,
YOU.
There
are
so
many
more
however
in
the
interest
of
the
space
we
shall
settle
at
ten
for
the
time
being.
Statutory Warning-This article has been written as a satire and the tone is sarcastic. Reader discretion is advised.
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