The Pretender's Zen Answers

Anecdotes

oi-Staff

Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 17:55

A fake monk who pretended to be a Zen master had two attendants with him in order to answer queries of people who approached him for guidance. Under the pretext of being in silence, the monk kept mum in order to evade the queries of people who approached him. He was totally ignorant of what Zen was.

One day while both his attendants were out, a pilgrim approached the silent monk. He asked the fake monk, "What is the Buddha?" The monk who was helpless without his attendants to give an answer. He helplessly looked around him for his mouth pieces. By then, the pilgrim was ready with his next question. He asked, " What is the dharma?" The ignorant monk, simply looked up and down at the ceiling and at the floor, actually seeking help from heaven and hell. The pilgrim then asked him, "What is Zen?" The master who could not handle it ay more just closed his eyes and sat in silence. The pilgrim then shot the last question, "What is blessing?" The master now out of utter desperation, in an act of confessing his ignorance , spread his arms wide.

The pilgrim was very happy about his meeting with the monk and left the place to pursue his journey. On the way, he met the two attendants of the fake monk. He revealed his great joy in meeting the monk, their master, who gave accurate answers to all his questions. He said, "When I asked him, 'What is Buddha ?,' your master's gesture by looking east to west meant, that the Buddha cannot be found here and there as people normally do"

The pilgrim continued, "For my second question, 'What is dharma,?' your master's gesture of looking up and down simply reflected the answer of totality which contained the essence of equanimity, where in there is no discrimination between the high and the low, purity and impurity etc. For 'What is Zen?, ' he simply closed his eyes and sat in silence which actually reflects the famous saying, 'If one can close his eyes and sleep soundly in the deep recesses of the cloudy mountains he is a great monk indeed' For my last query of 'What is the blessing?,' your master just spread his hands implying that he was lending his hands to help and guide sentient beings with his blessings" The pilgrim then went his way saying what a great enlightened master he was, to the attendants.

The attendants scurried to let their master know of the praises showered on him by the pilgrim. The master on seeing them both, gave them a piece of his mind to have left him in the lurch to almost die of embarrassment in front of an inquisitive monk.