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Marriage And Children: How To Keep Your Relationship Strong After Having Kid(s)

It's always the little things in life that provide joy and eternal happiness, especially when it comes to relationships, especially marriages after having kids. Happy relationships do not happen out of the blue! It takes patience, hardwork, love, trust, care and support to build something that is healthy and happy for a long time.

Just because you are a parent, you don't need to trot off parties, vacations and even date nights with your partner. Even though no money, no time and no sex - is the picture that people around you will paint, but that is not necessarily through and putting efforts in the right direction will make your relationship with your partner and kids look like a cakewalk. However, there are a number of challenges that couples can't overlook.

According to a study done by NCBI, in which the dataset included 7178 married individuals from 33 countries and territories, it was found that the number of children was a significant negative predictor of marital satisfaction, while there were no interactions with economic status and individual level of individualistic values.

It also brought under the spotlight pros and cons of parenthood and highlighted the multifaceted influence of becoming a parent on well-being. Also, if it is a traditional family setup, then being closely intertwined with each other can create an impact that can be massive.

So, let us check the tips for keeping your marriage strong after having kids. We have curated 10 tips for you to follow and bring your relationship back on track.

1. Do Not Compromise On Your Date Nights

In a relationship, it is essential to realise who you are as a couple minus the kids. Be honest with yourself and your partner when you need help with managing children. On a date night, if you leave your kid(s) with a babysitter, do not feel guilty about it. Even a vehicle doesn't start without fuel, and we are humans!

Spending some time with your partner without having kids can make you realise the feelings you initially had for each other and will make your bonding stronger. Hold hands, kiss and hug each other, this will add excitement and newness to your relationship again. Do things on a date that you both have always wanted to do. When you feel refreshed as a couple, you will be re-energised as a parent too.


2. Make Intimacy Your Priority

When you come closer emotionally, it becomes easier to be intimate. Don't feel guilty about putting your child to bed and find some time to spice up your life with your partner. Make it your ultimate priority to take your intimacy level a notch higher. Try new things to add excitement to your relationship. This will also help you to connect not only to your body but to your partner's body as well. Through this also, you can express your love towards them.


3. Give Each Other Space And Time

Do not overstep into each other's spaces and bother each other will problems that occur on a daily basis. Engage in something that interests y5. ou as an individual. Not everything is meant to be done together. Customise your routines and follow what is important for you and ask your partner to do the same. This will allow the relationship to breathe and grow beautifully. You can also opt for childcare services if you both need time to adjust to a new lifestyle.

4. Look For Ways To Love And Care For Each Other

Do one thing at a time and do not get distracted by something or someone when you are with them. If they are putting an effort to make or do something nice for you then value it instead of checking your phone or staring at a TV screen. Also, have eyes for each other and this will reflect in small circumstances. This will let you and your partner realise how much affection you have for each other. By now you know the trigger points of your partner and so do not do anything that will hurt or insult them in numerous ways.


5. Divide The Time Between You, Your Partner And Your Kids

Me time, couple time and family time are not the same. Following the same routine every day can make your life mundane so finding new things or ways can break the monotony. Be it household chores, repairs or taking care of children. You need to divide the time you want to spend with yourself, then plan the things you want to do only with your partner and then your kids as a family. This will help everyone to bond in a better way. You can go to bed early but it can be for fun and not sleep, similarly, you can cook food and make it look like a date and not just like a boring dinner.

6. Set Goals As Couples And As Parents

There is nothing wrong with loving a child, but when it comes to strengthening your relationship as well, then you need to set up certain goals and abide by them. When you are a couple the priorities are different and you were able to look at the tough spots together without having to worry about someone else. Now that you are a family of three or more, you need to your needs and issues will also change. So, it is essential to plan everything out, first as couples and then as parents so that nothing is overlapped.

7. Plan Your Finances Ahead Because Money Matters

Reports suggest that financial problems and lack of intimacy become the reason for divorce for the majority of people. Not only do these factors create stress but also result in conflicts. When it comes to money, plan your finances well so that you or your family do not end up in debt. Be on the same page and then you have to deal with one less problem. If you feel a night out or a movie night is expensive, then plan these at home. Instead of taking your partner out to a fancy restaurant, surprise them with your culinary skills. The same applies to children as well. It is crucial that everyone in the family understand the difference between want and need.


8. Grow Together Instead Of Growing Apart

It is human nature to change so the person you married 5 years back may have changed. Find a plan to stick with each other if you both value this relationship. It is not necessary to do everything as parents, you can plan a few things as a couple as well so that your relationship with your partner remains happy and healthy. You can do every ordinary stuff together and soon you will realise and remember how many things you both have in common.


9. Plan A Trip Or Travel Often As A Couple

You can travel with or without kids. Every time you and your partner need to realise how you both feel about each other minus the children. Rejuvenate your mind and your relationship and this will remove stress as well. Go on a vacation, meet new people, and learn from difficult cultures and this will shift your focus from the daily problems that you crib about every day. It is possible that you, your partner and your children have everything in common or they can be poles apart, no matter what the situation is, keep your relationship strong.


10. Support Each Other In Front Of Children

Kids learn more from what you do than what you say. So, make it a point to back each other as partners in front of your kids. This will send a message that you both are united. If you want to argue or disagree with your partner over something then do it in private. Kids are human too and at times it is possible that they will try to divide and conquer over parents to get things done. Be strict about it and don't let them do this to you. Also, your partner will realise that you respect them and have their back always.

Story first published: Friday, January 13, 2023, 15:21 [IST]
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