We are all overthinkers whether we are aware of it or not or if we agree to it or not. It has two sides to it: first being the positive version of overthinking and second being the negative part of overthinking. Overthinking is my biggest flaw as it ruined my relationship.
The positive sides of overthinking can be said to be the times when we often think about ourselves in order to improve or build ourselves into a broader and a better version to survive in the world in a better way. We contemplate a lot about it in real.
The second being the negative side of overthinking is the point where overthinking becomes an addiction and all we do is think about the smallest thing that affects us and make it a bigger reason to worry about, in our mind.
During a counselling session, a friend of mine told me, "Now, in my relationship, overthinking affects me a lot when each message or conversation, a simple kiss or physical intimacy becomes my playground of contemplation. I contemplate up to such a length that it becomes overthinking. Overthinking is the problem I face and it made my relationship vulnerable. This is the reason why overthinking is my biggest flaw."
This made me think about the topic in a deeper sense and I figured out ways to overcome these problems. But before we get there, we need to know why overthinking is bad for the relationship. Let's find out the reasons behind.
1. The Essence Deteriorates
A relationship never happens by any kind of mistake and on a serious note, two people in a relationship work a lot hard in maintaining the relationship. Overthinking ruins the relationship as it deteriorates the essence of love for one keeps thinking about all the reasons why and how the partner is in love with you and what are the reasons behind such an affection. This becomes a mental blockage for you to feel the love that he/she provides.
If we sit and think about something on a repeat mode, we end up finding something or the other negative, which complicates the entire problem at once and makes the power of taking a proper decision even slower.
2. Feeling Of Insecurity Develops
Overthinking often makes the world around you and inside you a place where insecurity starts to brew, where each moment you think about your relationship in a negative aspect, and you feel it is walking away from you and you have to keep an eye on it and try to have a leash over the relationship or marriage.
This makes your relationship sour, killing the love between you and your partner. Insecurities are our own inner demons created by us.
3. Trust Vanishes
Trust is your entrance to happiness in a relationship or a marriage and if you overthink in the relationship, trust starts to vanish and before it is too long, overthinking takes the top.
When you start trusting less in your partner and more in your thinking, you lead yourself and your partner to a baseless fight in the relationship. Trusting is the only key component of a relationship and overthinking just makes it vanish away.
4. You Blame Your Relationship
Overthinking denotes that it is the fault of your partner and your thinking is true to the core in whatever context you and your partner argue about. Overthinking makes you blame everything on your relationship and causes a strife between you and your partner.
It brings the clarity of the partners in a relationship to such a low esteem that it doesn't matter if you are in the relationship or not. It is always the overthinking that makes you think the relationship wasn't worthwhile and should be called off. Thus, the relationship becomes a derailed one and you cannot do anything then.
5. Overthinking Just Brings Sadness
Overthinking doesn't bring happiness in a relationship. Constantly thinking about the relationship makes one see a lot of flaws in it and that becomes the point where one starts to feel sad being in the relationship. It becomes hard to handle the sadness and thus the reasons start pouring in for you to come out of the relationship.
Overthinking doesn't help in a relationship, as it crumbles the peace of mind one has and brings one's self-esteem down. It makes a person feel whatever he/she is doing in the relationship is not up to the mark all the time and he/she needs to put more efforts into it.
Your relationship craves for happiness due to these reasons. Neither you nor your partner can stay happy and that makes you sadder as you are not being able to help yourself or your partner.
Remember, overthinking in relationships never did any good and it certainly won't help yours if you try too. Even if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, never approach your mind to start overthinking.
Instead, communicate better and understand why you don't require overthinking and how it will be a mess once you give your will to overthinking.
Overthinking is not just a habit that can be controlled. It is a process that kills the vibe of any relationship. It is up to you to find what's important in your relationship and what's not.
So, take time to sit and talk with each other, figuring out the issues rather than contemplating on your own with the idea of overthinking. You don't want to lose a loving partner.
These are the reasons why overthinking is bad in a relationship and all you got to do is not overthink at all.
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