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11 Causes Of An Unhappy Marriage


Marriage is a relationship where it takes two to tango. There can never be an unhappy marriage in which only one person is unhappy. As Leo Tolstoy said, all happy marriages resemble each other but each couple is unhappy in its own way. The causes of unhappiness in marriage are often unique for each couple. However, there are some reasons for an unhappy marriage that are common across the board.

It takes a lot of effort to build a happy marriage but it takes only little indiscretion to make the marriage unhappy. The causes of an unhappy marriage often stem from incompatibility. But then compatibility is something you have to work towards. It is not possible to achieve it at once. So the most important thing required for a happy marriage is the willingness and determination to make it work.


Signs of an unhappy marriage are always very obvious. Awkward silences, difficult communication, constant fights and a feeling of unease are associated with unhappy marital relationship. Find out the common reasons for an unhappy marriage so that you can avoid them.



Ego is a marriage killer. It is okay to have self-respect. Never allow your spouse to walk over you. But if you give your ego preference over your relationship, your marriage is doomed.


Unwillingness To Adjust

Compatibility is not a ready made thing. You have to work on it continuously. And if you are not ready to adjust, then marriage is not for you.


Unrealistic Dreams

Most unhappy marriages are based on unrealistic dreams. When a couple gets married, they have rosy ideas about marriage. But when these dreams meet reality, they crash like a house of cards. People who are not able to accept this, end up being unhappy in their marriage.


Communication Gap

The inability to communicate clearly with your spouse is the single most painful thing in a marriage. When all doors of communication are closed, a marriage starts nearing its end.


The 'Understanding' Issue

Both the partners in an unhappy marriage have the same problem as they both feel that their spouse doesn't 'understand' them. You can blame it on difference of perspective.


Verbal Abuse

When a person lets out steam by using abusive or hurtful words towards their spouse, the relationship becomes sour.


All In The Family

Marriage is a relationship between two people that is complicated by the involvement of several other family members. If a couple doesn't manage to keep their families out of their marriage, they end up paying heavily for it.


Lack Of Time

As people progress in life, they start having lesser and lesser time for each other. When a couple cannot spend time together, they start growing apart.


Sexual Dissatisfaction

If a marriage is not physically fulfilling, then it can be hard to sustain the relationship for long. That is why; a good sex life ensures that your marriage is happy.


Lack Of Commitment

Affairs, emotional infidelity and lack of commitment can make a happy marriage very unhappy. So if you are getting attracted to someone else, then your marriage is doomed.



The biggest challenge in a marriage is to keep boredom at bay. Sometimes, there is nothing wrong with your marriage but you are just bored. This can be the cause of unhappiness in an otherwise perfect relationship.

Story first published: Wednesday, July 30, 2014, 20:14 [IST]