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Can A Marriage Without Intimacy Survive?

Marriage has no standard formulas to work out. If there was a readymade way to make your marriage work, then there would not be any divorces in the world. The truth is that each one has to work out their marriage in their own unique ways. Having said that, there are some standard rules. Sex or physical intimacy is a must in any man-woman relationship. But there are some marriages without intimacy that go on for years.

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Is marriage without sex a real marriage at all? If there is no intimacy between a husband and a wife, are they a couple or just friends? There is a simple way to arrive at the answer to this question. How many times did you have sex with your spouse in the last one month? Three times, four times or may be even 10 times. Now, how many times do you think your parents make love in a month? May be not even once. So a marriage without intimacy also has a chance of being successful.

There are several reasons why a marriage without intercourse can survive. A couple does not have to have a steamy sex life to understand each other or even be in love. A marriage without emotional intimacy can never survive though.

Here are some reasons why marriage without physical intimacy survives in many cases.

Marriage has phases

Marriage has phases

Marriage is not a constant relationship. It comes in phases. As newly marrieds, you have been making love like bunnies. But now, after a few years, you settle down into an affectionate rather than steamy relationship with your spouse.

It comes with age

It comes with age

Women in particular lose their libido with age. This happens because they go through menopause when they are in their late 40s or 50s. The hormonal impulses ruin their sex drive. Men also have lower levels of testosterone as they age.

Focus on children

Focus on children

Sex often dwindles in a marriage when children come into the picture. Some sexless marriages survive solely because the entire focus of the parents is on their kids.

Marriage is a habit

Marriage is a habit

Whether you like it or not, marriage is a habit forming substance. You get habituated to your partner and don't really care if he or she is not being steamy in bed beyond a point.

Marriage is about shared responsibilities

Marriage is about shared responsibilities

Marriage is about sharing the important responsibilities of life. If your spouse shares all your work and responsibilities but doesn't have a massive sex drive, life would really not be that uncomfortable.

Emotional intimacy is more important

Emotional intimacy is more important

You don't have to make love to your spouse in order to be emotionally close. You can easily have a strong emotional bond with your partner if you have understanding and trust.

Sex is not an obligation

Sex is not an obligation

A married couple should have sex only when they feel like it. Physical intimacy should not be like an obligation that it has to be done a certain number of times in a week or month. It is not a target you have to achieve.

No time for sex

No time for sex

Why would it impossible for a marriage without sex to survive? Some couples do not have the time to make love these days.

Long Distance Marriages

Long Distance Marriages

If a couple has to live apart for work, they would have to leave each other for good. Sometimes, a marriage can also lack sex due to distance. But then quality is more important than quantity when it comes to sex.

Story first published: Tuesday, August 12, 2014, 16:14 [IST]