What Goes Wrong With A Marriage Of Convenience?

Marriage And Beyond

oi-Anwesha Barari

By Anwesha Barari

Monday, September 12, 2011, 18:10

What is a marriage of convenience? A marriage in which both partners hope to achieve some selfish motive of their own. They do not get married because they love each other or consider each other compatible. A marriage of convenience takes place when both partners consider it to be mutually beneficial and nothing else.

For example, a great singer marrying the heir to a music empire. The music empire gets the singer copyrighted for life and the singer gets a ready music label to produce his/her albums. So the marriage become a business deal. Although this might seem like a great idea of a perfect union but marriage problems are bound to occur in such cases.

Why Marriages Of Convenience Don't Work?

• Marriage is the biggest commitment in your life. If you don't commit for the right reasons then you will definitely not be able to keep your commitment. You may tolerate your partners temper tantrums out of love but will do the same if it was a business deal that was agreed upon? Never.

• Priorities change so what is convenient today becomes cumbersome tomorrow. For some people work or money is their only priority at the start of their life. So they marry someone rich or someone who can influence their career growth. But by the time you reach mid life, priorities change. You long for companionship and realise that your reasons to commit were all wrong.

• Like doctors always marry doctors or into families of doctors. What makes doctors always compatible with other doctors? It is cliche that may not click for everyone.

• People change with age and experience so what seems like a very convenient lifestyle today may turn into a claustrophobic nightmare today. For instance some girls get married because they don't want to work or study. But after having seen the other like of the fence they decide that job or studies were better than the boredom of sitting at home. That is where the marriage problems start.

• Some people fear loneliness; they are afraid that they may never find Mr. Perfect or Ms Perfect for themselves. In a combinations of panic and obligation they get into a marriage of convenience. The problem with marriages in this category is that they are not based on a solid foundation and thus brittle. If you don't find some common thread of compatibility with your partner then you can expect an unhappy marriage as soon as the initial attraction wears off.

• You may not have found your Mr Right today but what if you realise after marriage that you husband is far far away from your idea of anything 'right'. Still worse is if you find your Mr Right after you are married to the wrong one! What will you do then? This dilemma has broken up many marriages and will break up many more.

Marriage of convenience is not a piece of good relationship advice, so don't buy it.