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Should Past Relationship Secrets Be Kept Hidden?

By Shatavisha Chakravorty

Gone is the era when parents would look for a match and the couple would be hooked with each other for a lifetime. With women being given greater independence, they have started exploring more avenues. Men, as always, are open to the idea of dating and they are more than happy to entertain the concept of dating.

Adding to this, with more and more people heading towards live-in relationships, the society is having a more acceptable approach towards the same.

should past relationships be kept secret

Now, while being in a relationship and getting to know the other person before walking down the aisle is a good idea, another aspect of the story is the fact that more often than not many of the relationships do not stand the test of time. For some reason or the other, couples break up with each other.

This leads them to carry the baggage of a past relationship when they move to a new one. Here comes the universal debate of whether past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden. Here are points on what could happen in case you plan to tell/hide about your past relationships to your partner.


1. Respect Towards Your Ex

Irrespective of what terms you ended your past relationship in, the fact remains that at one point or the other you did love him for the person he was. It is in view of this that you must respect the secrets he has shared with you and takes the same to your grave.


2. Need For Privacy

Just because two people come together to become a couple does not mean that they lose out on their individuality. There are some things which are personal and should remain so. Your partner does not need to know everything about you. Your past relationship details are one of them.


3. It Might Hurt Your Partner

The secrets you carry may have details that your partner may not like to hear. If it is avoidable, why should you indulge in any activity that might hurt him or her? By keeping some things away from them, you are actually helping them lead a happier life.


4. Digging Old Wounds Will Get You Nowhere

You might not realize it but sometimes mere speaking about your ex will make you feel low. This is especially true if, in your previous relationships, it was you who was dumped. The simplest way to avoid all such negativity in your life is to avoid talking about your ex altogether.


5. Loss Of Trust

Any relationship is based on trust. If your partner finds out that you have been keeping secrets from him or her, they will not like it. It might also lead to him or her questioning the foundation of trust on which your relationship is based.


6. Repeated Errors

If you tell your partner about the ways your ex has hurt you, chances are that he or she will make conscious efforts to avoid the same. This will lead to strengthening of your relationship. After all, life is all about growing up and learning from past mistakes.


7. Total Sense Of Belonging

If you are actually into a person, there is nothing about you that they should not know. It is an accepted fact that one gets to know a lot about a person from his or her past relationships. So, allow him to get to know more about you by telling him about the secrets of your past relationships.


8. No One Is Perfect

It is okay for your partner to know that you have made mistakes in the past. This is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you have learnt your lesson from the past relationships and you can assure them that you won't be your naïve self in the future, it is perfectly okay for them to know all the silly secrets of your bygone days.

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