If a guy slapped you on your second date, you would probably slap him back or never see his face again. But if your boyfriend of 3 years starts manhandling you, will you leave him at that instant?
You are taking time to think and that is the key to how relationships become abusive over a period of time. No relationship has verbal or physical abuse, to begin with. Then, how do abusive relationships start? There is a clear process behind the beginning of a potentially abusive relationship.
From being in a happy relationship to getting abused in a relationship - that is from the riches to rags.
One cannot be sure of what changes happened that made the happy relationship become an abusive one.
Let's see how happy relationships can become an abusive one.
How Does It Begin?
When you meet the guy of your dreams, you will never doubt that he could hurt a fly. He will ideally be Mr. Right, for whom you have been waiting for all your life. You are excited about finding the love of your life. He is loving, attentive and can't seem to get enough of you.
You are on cloud nine until he pushes you for more commitment. If your partner is potentially abusive, he will propose marriage quickly or want to get physical with you too soon.
You have a feeling of discomfort but you are too 'high' on love to displease him.
The relationship that was once happy turns towards the glacier of abuse and gradually the glacier melts to form the abusive relationship.
The Red Flags
Once your partner is sure that you are completely into him, he will start showing the signs of violence.
This is when signs of an abusive relationship begin to appear. He will start becoming more demanding, he will isolate you from your friends and will begin manipulating you in all ways possible. This will lead to a period of intense tension.
He will try to control you by making sure that he doesn't lose out the grip he has on you. He puts his mind game on the plate, just to keep you under his control.
The Act of Violence
If you really want to know how a happy relationship becomes abusive, then it would have to be the day the actual violence begins.
He will have an outburst (justified by the period of tension) and subject you to physical or mental violence. Having had his catharsis, he will go back to being Mr. Right.
The act of violence is the mark of the day physical abuse begins. Once a happy relationship, now a fragment of memory. These acts of violence can never be justified.
The Cycle Of Violence
After your partner abuses you, he will look genuinely apologetic. They will shed (crocodile) tears of guilt and ask for your mercy.
Then, he will treat you like a queen to make up for his minor indiscretion. You will start feeling special again and forgive his crime. That is how an abusive relationship starts. There is no end to this cycle of violence because he will continue to abuse you at regular intervals.
The cycle of violence is where you will start feeling the pain of being in the relationship and cry about how happy it was earlier. You will start questioning yourself for coming into this relationship. You will start asking yourself the reasons behind such abuse, but will never get your answers.
Identify the signs of an abusive man early on, so that you can walk away from the relationship without any scars. And for that; it is vital to know how abusive relationships start or how seemingly happy relationships become abusive.
Remember, it is never late to walk away. If you feel your relationship is abusive, walk away from it now and don't try to make things better in the relationship, as it is just a waste of time and nothing more.
Remember, it is you who comes first for yourself and the rest is just temporary.