Win Back Your Ex-lover

Love And Romance

oi-Staff

By Staff

Friday, December 12, 2008, 3:30

Are you a little upset and very unsure what to do about your breakup. But, you know that you want to save your relationship more than anything else... and there isn't necessarily anything wrong with that! Relationship counselors and experts agree that the most important step in winning back lost love is to follow an organized plan of action. You need to know what to do, when to do it, and most importantly what not to do. These steps will help you to repair your relationship and win back your ex girlfriend or boyfriend-- even if your situation seems hopeless right now, these tips will help you to increase your ex's respect for you, raise their attraction and help repair any mistakes that may have been made after the break up. Basically, what we will attempt to do is remove all barriers to getting back together.

Remember, what brought you together initially (attraction) will work most effectively to bring you back together now. This is the only consistently effective approach to getting them back. In 2000, an important study was done by psychologists that pinpointed exactly what "happy couples" do that makes both partners feel more satisfied and happy with the relationship. Remember that your lover knows everything about you and never try to pretend before her. Project yourself as you really are and try to let him/her know what you wish.

What not to do
Acting depressed and trying to make your ex feel guilty about leaving you, so that he or she will feel bad for you and come back, is another common mistake. Doing things to get her or his attention by pretending to be someone you are not is simply bad strategy. Also, don't call your ex, or go to their house, and cry and threaten suicide. This never works. Never forget that stalking is illegal.

Begging and pleading for another chance is not the way to get an ex back. And everything else that makes you look pathetic, frustrated and miserable. The more you beg to get an ex partner back, the less likely it is to ever happen. Desperate behavior is more likely to repel your ex rather than attract him or her. Not chasing after your ex gives you a better chance to win them back - because you are not doing anything negative to win them back.

Don't tend to rekindle things with your ex too soon. If you only broke up a short time ago, leave a substantial time between breaking up and trying to get back together with your ex. You need to realize that most people need space right after a break up. Give him or her a little time to miss you. If you had a decent relationship chances are that your ex will think about you. There's nothing you can do to instantly bring back your ex, so be patient. Sometimes it could be weeks or months before you get your ex back, but if you really like him or her, it is worth the wait.

Never try these

Telling them you love them over and over

Apologizing and swearing that things will be different from now on

Using money, kids, jealousy, or some other kind of manipulative leverage to "force" them to come back

Acting depressed so that they will feel bad for you and come back

Giving your ex reassurance that you have changed so they should try again

Trying to reason and argue with them about why they should give the relationship another chance

These things that most people try are actually counter-productive. People actually end up pushing their ex boyfriends or girlfriends further away making it less likely they will ever get back together! Please don't make any of the above mistakes.

Once you are successful to kindle the flames of love in your lovers heart, life will again become a fully bloomed spring and you will find yourself walking hand in hand with your lover in the valleys of joviality.