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It is never good to dominate your partner or control your relationship for any reason. Controlling your relationship is no less than rejecting your partner for being who he/she truly is. Sharing your perspective is one thing but trying to influence your partner's decisions, choices, preferences and opinions often can harm your relationship in many ways or have a negative impact on your partner.
Over a period of time, your partner may feel trapped in the relationship as you do not think their opinions or ideas are valid. . So, if you are wondering in what ways you can avoid being controlling in your relationship and make the best out of your relationship, then read the below points.
1. Check Your Communication Skills With Your Partner
If you want to quit your controlling behaviour and make your relationship healthier, then it is important that you check your communication with your partner. The way you communicate with your partner can impact your relationship in many ways. Do you often give orders and expect your partner to obey whatever you say? Do you get furious if things don't go in the way you wanted them to be? Well, this is not healthy and definitely you must try to keep your communication skills in check.
2. Try To Be More Polite With Each Other
Once you have figured out your body language and the way you communicate with your partner, the next thing that you can do is try to be more polite with your partner. You can soften your way while talking to them. Keep your own behaviour under check so that you both can find a middle ground. Use golden words like please, thank you, sorry, etc. to be more polite with your partner.
3. Let There Be Some Personal Space
Being in a relationship is more like being in the same team and therefore, you must allow your partner to be who he/she is. For this, it is important that you let your partner enjoy his/her ‘me-time'. Intruding your partner's personal space while he/she is changing clothes, reading a book, writing his/her diary, shows that you are a controlling partner. Therefore, if you don't want to weaken your relationship, then it is important to let there be some personal space in your relationship.
4. Share Your Insecurities With Each Other
One of the best ways to avoid being a control freak in your relationship is by sharing your insecurities with your partner. Insecurities can often lead to situations where you may not value yourself and your abilities. You may feel insecure about whom your partner is talking to or why your partner's coworker dropped him/her. These insecurities can create severe issues in your relationship. So, if you have insecurities, then it is better to discuss them with your partner in a healthy manner. Instead of accusing and yelling, you can find common grounds to deal with your insecurities.
5. Turn Your Orders Into Suggestions
There is a fine line between suggesting something to your partner and asking him/her to do something. It is important that you understand that fine line and avid ordering things to your partner. Instead of ordering things to your partner, it is advisable that you try suggesting things to him/her. Instead of saying, ‘Do this work', you can say, ‘Hey, what do you think about doing this?' This way you will not only avoid being controlling but will also sound polite and humble.
6. Be Receptive To Positive Changes
It can be possible that your partner doesn't like some of your behaviours as well. He/she may not like the way you order things to him/her or the way you control his/her actions. You can think of ways in which you can be a better partner by changing your behaviour to some extent. You can let go of your insecurities and the urge to control things. Embracing some positive changes will allow you to be a better human and a loving partner.
7. Appreciate Your Partner’s Efforts
Instead of always finding faults in your partner, how about appreciating his/her efforts? If your partner does his/her best to make you happy and strengthen the relationship, then you need to acknowledge and appreciate his/her efforts. Even if your partner didn't do the thing in a way you wanted to be done, try not to shout to show your disagreement. Instead, you can give some positive criticism and make your partner understand how things are meant to be done.
8. Avoid Keeping Your Expectations Too High
We understand that being in a relationship you may have some expectations from your partner. You may expect your partner to make you feel special, cook good food for you, hang out with you and much more. But always expecting your partner to fulfil your expectations is no less than controlling your relationship. There can be times when your partner may not be able to fulfil your expectations. Therefore, it is important to avoid keeping your expectations too high.
A relationship comprises mutual respect, personal space, trust, love, care and mutual understanding. Try to make a room for these things which are extremely crucial and you will find that your relationship has strengthened over time.