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Relationship Red Flags That Crop Up During Holiday Season: What You Need To Know

The holiday season is undoubtedly the most wonderful time of the year, but it doesn't mean that relationship red flags won't crop up and it can be quite stressful for some. A relationship is not like planting a seed and watering it in hope that it will grow on its own.

So, what one needs to do instead is regularly contribute to their emotional bank account so that there are no miscommunications and both clearly understand each other's intentions in a better manner whenever there is a conflict or argument. So how does a relationship becomes a cause of stress during holidays when actually we want to strengthen it?

A study by the American Psychological Association mentions that 44% of women and 31% of men said their stress levels were higher than normal during the holidays.

To keep it happy and healthy, there are numerous factors that one needs to consider and strategies that you need to work on. Here are the common relationship red flags that crop up during the holiday season. Know how to deal with it.

1. Isolating Your Partner

This is one of the biggest red flags and can be a deal breaker when it comes to romantic relationships. You or your partner may have issues attending events, going to parties or even participating in family events. Even though a lot of people are not aware of this, it can be seen as a very subtle form of controlling your partner and usually exists in abusive relationships. If your partner is trying to keep you away from your loved ones or people who genuinely care for you, then it can be seen as emotional abuse and it is a strict no-no for every relationship. Do not let anyone overstep your choices. Do not overcommit to someone and also refrain from spreading yourself too thin. Know the value of self-worth and negotiate the issues with your partner.

2. Not Spending Enough Time

Home is a space for many where you get to be who you are, be vulnerable and also attend to your needs. If you do not get that space or feeling that you can express your needs safely and see them getting fulfilled then there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Also, this can mean that either your partner or the family members are toxic. Staying in this environment for a long period of time can affect one's self-worth negatively. You can check out for instances such as unhealthy competitions, blame games, and harsh punishments if something goes wrong. Do not be a busy bee when the holiday approaches and fill your dates with numerous holiday parties. Leave some quality time with your partner. You need to express how you love and care about them.

3. Buying Gifts That Are Too Expensive

Giving a gift or getting one can be a joyful experience. So, what makes it so complicated during the holiday season? Did it ever happen that one you have given gifts, people around you have started it to compare with others and complained because they thought the other one was better? Here is something you need to do when this happens. You need to set a budget and plan it out with your partner before buying gifts that are too expensive. If you are not on the same page with your partner when it comes to buying gifts, then it is possible that it will affect you and your partner financially and create stress in your relationship. Well, money can never buy you healthy relationships, so this is something that you and your partner need to ponder on.

4. Toxic Family Dynamics

This is another huge red flag especially when you are meeting with extended family members. There can be numerous factors that can contribute to this problem- codependent dynamic, the quality of communication, and tumultuous anger. This can also tell a lot about your partner's attachment style with their family members. This will give you a glimpse of the kind of environment they have grown up in, how they react in difficult situations and handle conflicts. Further, if your partner or their family members are belittling your choices and controlling you, you need to understand that you are in an emotionally abusive environment.

5. Problem Of Substance Abuse

There is no substitute for nice company and a glass of good wine during the holidays. But, one needs to be careful how one is using a particular substance. Is it something they are only using when they are unable to deal with the stressful situations that pops up during the holiday season or is it something that is getting addicted to slowly during the holidays? Psychologists say that one needs to watch out for this one because this behaviour will keep repeating itself in future situations as well.

6. You Meet At Crossroads When It Comes To Celebrations

When you cannot agree on something, especially if it is about how, where and with whom to spend your holidays then it is best to talk about it instead of pushing it under the carpet. You may plan to throw parties during holidays and then suddenly realise that you will be the one who will clean the mess entirely after it is over and then change your mind to do something else. However, your partner still wants to go ahead with the plan. Also, interfaith couples can experience issues during this time due to different heritage, needs and identities. This can create a rift in your relationship. You can convey your issues to your partner, address the challenges and come to an agreement or find a happy middle ground.

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