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Currently, ghosting or ending a relationship abruptly is not a strange thing. People feeling no more interested in their partner might end the relationship through ghosting where they stop responding to calls or any messages of the other person. But there is a way in which people can call their relationship off by being nice to their partner and that is known as caspering.
Well, caspering is a new break-up strategy that is more polite than ghosting. It is like ghosting in a friendly way.
The name 'caspering' comes from the name of a friendly ghost character 'Casper' from an American fantasy comedy-drama movie (1995). The term has been used for a scenario where people let their partner know the unwillingness to continue the relationship, but politely. An explanation can also be added while calling the relationship off, following which contacts can be ended.
For example, if A is caspering B, then A is not willing to be the bad guy/girl and is leading on B. It can be like, "you are great and honest but I think we are not compatible to each other." Or, "there is nothing bad about you. You are kind and decent but I do not find the spark anymore."
In the above examples, the first person (A) is praising the other but at the same time is expressing the unwillingness to be in the relationship. Here A is honest about his feelings but is trying to not hurt B and, therefore, being polite.
How Caspering Differs From Ghosting
While ghosting, your partner might not reply to your messages and calls. He/she will call off the relationship without giving you any reason or any explanation. However, while caspering, your partner will reply to your messages and calls more or less, maybe after hours. There replies will sound vague yet friendly.
Caspering can give the person (at receiving end) mixed message and confuse him/her for weeks. Unlike ghosting, caspering confuses people about the true intentions of their partner (the one who caspers).
The person who has been the victim of ghosting is uncertain of whether the relationship has ended or if there is any other reason for their partner's absence.
On contrary to this, those who become the victim of caspering, have a clarity about the break-up.
It is not that when a person tries to casper, he/she will directly go and tell, "You are a great and lovely person but we are not compatible." Caspers (people who casper on other people) can give their partners hints for days and weeks.
Similar to the carrot-and-stick behaviour, caspers will try to distance themselves from their partner but will behave friendly at the same time. They will pretend to be interested and involved in the relationship but will also give a cold shoulder to their partner.
This confuses the other person, if their partner is really interested to be in the relationship or is trying to get out of the relationship.
Let us see what people have to say about caspering through their tweets:
its 2019, were not ghosting anyone anymore. lets refer to "caspering" this means when ur honest about your feelings towards someone & let them down gently, instead of ignoring them, then disappear from their lives.— cesar (@proxactears) January 13, 2019
Though caspering is said to be a friendly and a polite way approach of ghosting, there is nothing so friendly or polite about caspering. After all, no one enjoys being rejected.