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Can Valentine's Day Have A Negative Influence On Romantic Partners?
Love is in the air, and you are flooded with chocolates, heart-shaped flower bouquets (probably red), the most beautiful romantic cards, fine pieces of jewellery, fancy dinner plans and more. Everything is just hunky dory. Isn't this what Valentine's Day should look like? Maybe it is true for some people, but for others, the whole thing can be dreadful!
So,
does
Valentine's
Day
make
people
good
about
their
relationships
or
it
is
like
a
final
nail
in
the
coffin
for
shaky
and
unstable
relationships?
While
it
is
good
to
focus
on
the
needs
of
your
partner,
show
admiration,
and
appreciation,
express
affection,
give
them
gifts
and
celebrate
love
in
your
own
way
when
you
are
in
a
romantic
relationship,
the
problem
crops
up
when
it
is
restricted
to
just
one
day,
it
can
appear
to
be
annoying
as
well
for
the
other
person
and
the
whole
thing
can
backfire.
So,
does
Valentine's
Day
Have
A
Negative
Influence
On
All
Romantic
Partners?
It is no mystery can that long holidays can be one of the primary reasons for stress, pain and anxiety in relationships. Here are the problems that one may come across, know the signs.
- Displaying Resentment Through Passive Aggressive Acts
There can be some unpleasant incident(s) in the past and you may have not forgiven your partner for that. It can be them cheating on you or doing something that you do not approve of. So, you may not directly scream at your partner or tell them that you are offended, but because you are mad at them you can resort to passive-aggressive behaviour. You may have wanted to buy a ring for them, but because you couldn't forgive them, you will settle for chocolate may be.
- Repressed Feelings Related To Self Doubt/Unworthiness
These are the emotions or feelings that you avoid unconsciously only because you are not able to process them. This is not at all healthy for any romantic relationship and even small things can trigger doubt and create a feeling of unworthiness. So, in the case of Valentine's Day, your partner doesn't say or give something that you desired or expected, and then you tell yourself that you are unworthy of love.
- Negative Social Comparisons
Negative skewed ways of thinking can intensify certain difficult mood states such as anxiety, stress, frustration and even guilt, says psychologist Dr Patrick Keelan. So, you may just feel sad seeing someone has given a better gift to their partner, or if someone publicly displays their love for their spouse, you may feel bad about your relationship. Therefore, there is a constant thought of self-doubt or not doing well.
- Stress And Anxiety For Not Meeting Expectations
One way to tackle this is by prioritizing appreciation over expectations. These negative emotions can get triggered on Valentine's Day especially when people discuss how well they have spent their day with their beloved or had a steamy intimate moment. Hearing this you may think that you are unworthy of doing something special in a way that your partner deserves. This creates a false sense of insecurity as well and can have a negative impact on a relationship.
Further, a study by Bill Chopik William, Britney M. Wardecker and Robin S. Edelstein, reveals that it is through attachment avoidance one can predict the perceptions of relationship functioning on a Valentine's Day.
The study concludes that when relationships were made accessible on Valentine's Day (versus a control day), higher levels of satisfaction and investment were reported only by individuals lower in attachment avoidance. Together, the current findings suggest Valentine's Day enhances relationships; however, this enhancement is especially likely when individuals are thinking of their partner and have a disposition towards depending on romantic partners.
The bottom line is the much-hyped and celebrated Valentine's day doesn't have a negative impact when it comes to relationship satisfaction but neither does it make anyone feel better about their relationships and it only depends on the attachment style of an individual.
While Valentine's Day is almost here, and it will create mixed emotions for a lot of people, here's How To Bring Your Love Life On Track On V- Day if you are facing issues with your partner.
1. Talk About The Solutions To Your Deeper Problems
Emotional distress can create issues in relationships and therefore, accepting and addressing the deeper problems in a situation and coming up with a solution is crucial. In order to make everything work outside, one needs to solve their inner conflicts. Sweeping it under the rug and latching on to something else will send your relationship towards a downward spiral. Do not hide behind the veil of shame or hold on to them because of getting judged while sharing it with your partner. Face your weaknesses, and faults and allow yourself to feel the emotions because it is always better than drowning in them.
2.
Do
Not
Have
Unrealistic
Expectations
From
Your
Partner
All
relationships
are
flawed
because
no
person
is
perfect.
So,
it
is
possible
that
there
will
a
misstep,
or
blunder
from
either
of
the
partners
at
some
point
in
time
and
therefore,
setting
unrealistic
expectations
can
be
a
huge
burden
on
both
partners.
No
two
people
are
the
same
and
to
make
someone's
actions
your
only
source
of
happiness
and
self-worth
can
be
harmful
to
your
relationship.
Instead
of
forcing
your
thoughts
on
others,
it
is
best
to
have
an
appreciation
for
them
and
what
they
do
for
you.
This
will
not
only
help
you
to
keep
your
standards
high,
but
with
this,
you
can
build
the
future
of
your
dreams.
3. Come To Mutual Understanding Instead Of Standing At Crossroads
Cooperation and compassion form the base of a healthy relationship. Studies have often pointed out that in relationships where partners are kind and empathetic towards each other happiness increases by itself. The lesser you expect from your partner, the more stable your relationship will be. Also, it is possible that you both may or may not agree on a certain thing at some point in your life, so no need to meet at crossroads then, and coming to a mutual understanding and a bit of compromise from both partners can solve this issue in a wink.
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