Funny Ways To Get An Increment

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So it's already the end of appraisal year and you don't have enough achievements in your folder to show up for that coveted hike in your salary. If your answer is yes and you have no idea how you are going to convince your boss to say yes to that fat salary hike, here are some innovative ideas for you.

Ways to get an increment:

• Call up one of your colleagues posing as a head hunting firm and inquire him about yourself. Tell him they want to hire you and are just making a back ground check. Your boss will get to know about it very soon. You will have a definite edge at the negotiating table.
• Find out what are your boss's favourite foods. Hire an excellent cook and take one of those dishes to the office every day. Meet the boss at the cafeteria during lunch time and eat with him/her. Offer and while talking don't forget to mention how insanely expensive mushrooms have become these days.
• Make your boss read "The Alchemist" and tell him that when someone wants something very badly, the whole universe conspires to make sure he gets it. Tell your boss, ‘that' someone is you and ‘that' something is a salary hike.
• Hack into your boss's computer and find out his favourite porn sites. Write him an anonymous mail and tell him you are going to send that list to his wife unless he gives the whole office a good salary hike.
• Find out about your boss's teenage daughter and her boyfriend. Tell your boss you saw his daughter with this guy and you can fix him up if he wants you to.
• If your boss has a school going kid, befriend him. Treat him to your insane collection of gaming CDs. Once he fails a subject, tell your boss that your uncle gives mathematics tuitions and how he sets gaming addicts right. You will earn respect and of course a hike.
• Write poems for your boss glorifying his virtues and his strength of character. Put up the poems on the notice board and next to the water cooler. Keep doing it till the boss comes up to you and offers you a salary hike for putting an end to it.
• Join your boss for his morning walks and entice him for a race. Lose every day until he gets confident enough to start betting on the races. Lose more races and lose some money. One day make him bet a salary hike and win that race.

Try these funny ways to get an increment.