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Self-Esteem And Ways To Build It

By Suparna Chakaraborthy

Self-esteem, is self worth. If you want to be important to others, you should first be important to yourself. It is the building up of one's identity and protecting one's self-respect.

As mentioned earlier, self-esteem is self-worth. For this the first and foremost step is to be clear about yourself. Know yourself completely including all your negative and positive points and respect both of them. High self-esteem is not a bad thing. It you lack in it, it should be worked out.

Steps to build your self-esteem

1.Be Your Critic – Listen to your inner voice. Deep within, you know your faults and what you don't like about yourself. There is no point in becoming defensive. If those are your traits, you cannot deny it. All you can do is to improve it but there are few inert traits specific to every human being, like typical expressions, tones of voice, reaction on certain occasions etc. Don't try to change them. That is you and people should accept you that way. Your attempt to change it is hypocrisy, which will only undermine your sense of self-esteem

2. Don't Compare – Believe in the fact that you are best the way you are. Don't try to copy others. That is not you and sooner or later you will realize that. Copying others would mean loosing one's identity. You can get inspired by someone but never try to be a completely different person. Every character, every personality has their own set of flaws. It is best to stick to the personality you are born with and work on it to make it better.

3.Understand Yourself – You may feel that you know everything about yourself but most of the time you conception about yourself is based on what others think about you. But now, you have to now understand your true self. Perform an exercise. Write down some key traits like honesty, anger, success, responsibility etc. Then rank yourself in the scale of 10. Be honest and you are sure to know where you lack and where you have successes. But accept both and don't sympathies yourself for things which are bad in you.

4.Find Your Path – To be clear about the course of your life is your first step to climb the ladder of success. Know your aim. Remember the mantra, 'aim small, hit small'. Make realistic goals. You should have one main goal and several others in the path to reach it. Aim at one goal at a time, this will help you concentrate on one thing. When you know where you are heading to, there will be no confusion and thus, no regrets.

5.Be Passionate – Trust in your passion. No matter how intellect or how kiddish it is, be proud of it and feel free to flaunt it. If your passion is to paint every moment in your canvas, standing by the road, then so be it. Do it, without hesitation. It is nothing bad, it is nothing to get ashamed of then why should you leave it thinking that what others will say.

6.Handle Criticism – Criticism is the best way to evaluate yourself. So, accept criticism's from others but more important is to handle it. Generally, people tend to get angry when being criticised but the way to handle is to accept it without reaction. Evaluate yourself on that criticism, if it is true work on it and if it is not then don't let it matter to you.

7.You Don't Have To Be Good – We cannot define a person as good or bad because all of us are gray. So, stop trying to portray yourself as good, to all. This attempt makes you an hypocrite, thus killing your identity.

You should enjoy a sense of high self-esteem. It is your right and anyone who is trying to hurt it or trying to rule your identity is not the right person for you. Stick to your decisions and be proud of yourself.

Read more about: self esteem identity personality
Story first published: Thursday, September 23, 2010, 15:00 [IST]
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