Monogamy, An Obligation? New Survey Shows How Societal Pressure Shapes Indian Marriages Across Cities

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For as far as we remember, monogamy has always been considered the norm. Weddings seal it, families expect it, and public conversations treat it as the default. However, monogamy is a relatively recent concept in human history. Experts, sociologists, and therapists have pointed out its limitations and have studied alternative relationship models-not as prescriptions for breaking commitments, but as part of understanding human relationship dynamics and the pressures people face in following traditional norms.

Survey Insights On Societal Pressure

Gleeden's most recent survey asked: "Do you think society pressures people to be monogamous?" The results were illuminating:

• 61% of respondents said staying in a fully monogamous marriage is an obligation imposed by societal pressure.
• 29% said couples willingly choose monogamy.
• 10% were unsure.

Regarding beliefs about monogamy:

• 26% believe monogamy is natural and achievable.
• 41% believe monogamy goes against natural tendencies.

These responses, consistent across cities, tiers, and professions, suggest that a clear majority are continuing monogamous relationships due to societal expectations rather than purely personal choice. Relationship norms influence dating, companionship, intimacy, and interpersonal discussions. When societal pressure dominates, "choice" becomes a privilege rather than the standard.

The Weight of Societal Expectations

"People don't always choose; they inherit the norms. When family, culture, and community push one script loud enough, people follow it without thought. Our findings reveal that exercising personal preferences still isn't easy in Indian culture:

• Only 29% of respondents exercise monogamy as free will
• While 61% continue marriages due to peer and societal pressure.

This pattern holds across Tier-1 and Tier-2 cities, challenging long-held norms of monogamous relationships," says Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager, Gleeden India.

City Size Does Not Erase Realities

While perceptions of monogamy are evolving in parts of India, the pull of social obligation remains strong in both Tier-1 and Tier-2 cities.

Tier-1 cities:

• Delhi: 63% staying monogamous due to social obligations.
• Mumbai: 62% influenced by social expectations.
• Hyderabad: 62% influenced by social expectations.
• Bangalore: 54% under societal influence, 33% choosing monogamy willingly.

Tier-2 cities:

• Kochi: 46% due to social obligation, 42% by free choice.
• Jaipur: 67% due to family/societal pressure.
• Guwahati: 75% due to societal pressure.
• Ludhiana: 63% influenced by social expectations.
• Patna: 58% influenced by social expectations.
• Indore: 59% influenced by social expectations.

Occupational Influence On Relationship Choices

Monogamy is often shaped by family, peers, and occupational circles. The survey shows variations across professions:

Men:

Business owners/entrepreneurs: 56% due to social pressure, 36% by choice.

Self-employed: 68% due to social pressure, 26% by choice.

Private sector employees: 57% influenced by society, 33% by choice.

Government employees: 58% due to social pressure, 32% by choice.

Unemployed: 67% influenced by societal expectations.

Women:

Self-employed: 75% stay in relationships due to social pressure.

Businesswomen: 66% influenced by society.

Private sector: 57% influenced by societal expectations.

Government employees: 88% continue relationships under societal pressure.

Housewives: 33% chose monogamy willingly.

Students: 30% chose monogamy willingly.

These findings indicate that even as women gain financial independence, many still feel constrained by societal expectations.

Signs of Subtle Change

Despite societal pressure, small but meaningful changes are emerging:

• 35% of married people have already had open conversations with their partner about relationship dynamics.
• 41% are willing to have such discussions if their partner suggests it.

These trends indicate that communication, trust, and mutual respect are gradually helping couples establish conscious and mutually agreed-upon relationship boundaries-without compromising commitment or fidelity.

The survey also highlights the strong influence of societal norms on relationship choices in India. To support genuine freedom within monogamous relationships, it is important to:

• Reduce societal pressure and stigma around personal choices.
• Encourage honest, open communication between partners.
• Respect individual preferences while maintaining commitment and mutual understanding.

Focusing on these aspects allows couples to make informed and conscious decisions about their relationships while preserving trust, loyalty, and the commitments they have made to each other.