Do You Spy On Your Spouse?

Marriage And Beyond

oi-Anwesha

By Anwesha Barari

Monday, September 26, 2011, 17:45

If you actually do spy on your spouse then there either something majorly wrong with you or with your marriage. It is not uncommon to see spouses cheating these days but faith in marriage still remains the founding stone. So if you spy on your spouse it means you have lost faith in him or her. That is not a very healthy sign for your marriage or any relationship for that matter. All said and done it is definitely not normal.

Here are some points to help you understand yourself and your spouse better.

Why Do You Spy On Your Spouse?

• Before the 'why' comes the 'what'. What you actually do to keep a check on your spouse and can it be termed as 'spying'. If you go through your husband's wallet or your visit your wife's Facebook profile once in a while to find out what is happening then that cannot be called spying. Its just idle curiosity.

• However if your sniff your husband's shirts or try to hack your wife's email account to go through her mails then that amounts to spying and no matter what the reason, it is not right.

• What are you looking for when you spy on your spouse? Signs of an affair because you fear your spouse is cheating on you? This is a very common case of suspicion turning its ugly head in a marriage. It is not like there are no cheating spouses; in fact the number of infidelity cases increase everyday. So the situation here is delicate and it is difficult to pass a judgment.

• If you suspect your spouse of having an affair then you need some concrete reason for it. It cannot be based on your interpretation of a particular situation. Until and unless you see it, don't believe it because everything in the world is subjective. Moreover, if your have no faith in your marriage, then its over anyway.

• Many marriages break down due to unnecessary spying. If you continue to doubt your innocent spouse persistently then at some point he or she is going to become bitterly frustrated. This will make them turn towards someone else for solace and by default end your marriage. You would have no one to blame but yourself then.

• If you have taken to spying without preamble then the problem may not lie with your spouse at all; it may be with you. If you are intrinsically an insecure person then no matter how faithful and loving your spouse is, it will never be enough for you. If you realise upon introspection that your insecurity is due to totally fictitious reasons then check yourself then and there.

• If you have taken to spying following a fight or a misunderstanding then 9 times out of 10 you will be wrong. Your mind believes what you make it believe.

Spying on your spouse is a dangerous habit and these marriage tips will help you quit it.