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Steps To Become A Perfect Mother-In-Law

By sruthi appu

Every relation has a name, a role, an importance and a position. All of us play various roles and share different relationship with each person. Friendship, child, parent, colleague, spouse and in-laws.

The relationship between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, invariably denies to be peaceful, sometimes in reality and sometimes it is all in the mind. This relationship, has been debated upon since a long time. The general view is that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, share a negative vibe, not in all cases but in many.

A girl after getting married, become a part of completely a new world, with the only known person being her husband. She being the new comer has to make compromises, understand her new world and blend herself in the new lifestyle. In her new course of life the person who can be at her help is and should be her mother-in-law, as she herself was once in the same position. Thus, here are few tips to become a good mother-in-law -

1.Accept Her – Accept the new girl into the family. Accept her as a new member and not a competition. You are now a family, so, there is no competition. She has her own set of like, dislikes, rules, ways of life, which cannot change or be moulded easily. Accept her ways and discuss if they don't match with the ways of your family.

2.Give Her The Position Of Your Daughter – The law says she is 'like' your daughter but if you attempt she can be as good as your own daughter. Give her the same rights in the family as you give to your own daughter. Keep her in your daughters shoes before making a decision, before handing over a responsibility, before making a impression and before complaining.

3.Make Her Comfortable – New place, new people and new life, can be quite stressful. Be a support to her in her understanding of new life. There is a magical quality in touch. Hug her when she is homesick, try to make her feel at home and guide her. Her comfort will make life easier for the whole family.

4.Acknowledge Her Effort – Human being like to be praised and it is ok if you praise your daughter-in-laws effort. Praise will give the confidence to work towards a better living. It will encourage her to work and make an effort for a healthy family life.

5.Take Her Opinion – She is part of the family and has equal rights to place her opinion. In every decision you make, ask for her opinion. This will help her to feel at home, she will feel a part of the family and she holds a very important position, let her play the role to the fullest.

6.Stop Being Insecured – Accept the fact that your daughter-in-law, is not taking your son away from you. No one can take the place of a mother and no one can love more than a mother. Your son knows that but that does not mean he should not love his wife. She is his wife and thus she has a right over him. He should listen to what she has to say. If he accepts her decision, he is in no way ignoring yours. But understand, if there are two choices, he has to choose one and it may always not be yours.

Walk these six steps to become a perfect mother-in-law. These steps will gain you respect and nourish a relationship which can grow up to be the best.
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Story first published: Monday, September 13, 2010, 13:28 [IST]