Just a Pause: Bind or Bond?

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A recent study showed that the divorce rates have dropped in the US. How? This was because these days' people prefer to have live-in relationships rater than get married!!

Thankfully, our society is much more conservative. But I have a million dollar question here. 'Do happy marriages exist anymore? Maybe..

First and foremost what defines a "Happy Marriage"? Is a successful marriage a happy one? What makes some marriages work while others fail? Marriage is an ever-changing relationship and a snapshot just cannot substitute for a portrait of a marriage over time. In fact, through the myriad emotions we can hear, smell, touch, taste or even dance during the experience, if we choose to.

What is all this song and dance about marriage anyway; and a happy one at that? Did I say song and dance? Well, think about your married life and relate it to music. You are sure to find all genres. Fox trot, Rock n Roll, Waltz, Jive, you name it and it should be there.

In our fast paced world, men and women need each other more, not less. We want and need love, erotic love (salsa), sympathetic love, passionate love, tender, nurturing love (waltz) all of our adult lives. We desire friendship, compassion, encouragement (fox-trot), and a sense of being understood and appreciated, not only for what we do but also for what we try to do and fail at (rock n roll). We want a relationship in which we can test our half-baked ideas without shame or pretense and give voice to our deepest fears. We want a partner who sees us as unique and irreplaceable.

In today's marriages, where people work long hours, travel extensively and juggle careers with family, more forces tug at the relationship than ever before. Modern marriages are battered by the demands of her workplace as well as his, by changing community values, by anxiety about making ends meet each month, by geographical moves, by unemployment and recession, and host of other issues. A crazy quilt of conflicting personal values and shifting social attitudes is also in that bed.

Now, we can't always get what we want. So, we have to make do with what we have and try to make it work for us. The magic word here is 'try'. My dear married friends, this means that marriages can get happier not because problems are resolved, but because they have been stubbornly outlasted.

I guess, we have to make it a point to dance tirelessly to a never-ending song. It will make "Two to Tango" come alive!

After all, if this bond is good enough to bind, Just find your rhythm and free your mind.