Eves India, arranged marriages,

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While it always seems to faze the non-Indians they simply can't figure out how two practical strangers can be married to each other and settle down for a life together. Promoted by some as the ideal way to make a stable and enduring match, while devalued by others as a crass and ultimately materialistic expression of parental control, arranged marriages in their classical sense are as distant from the swooning romance of modern western ideals as you can get.

The amazing thing is that statistics prove that arranged marriages are no less happy, and even more stable, than so-called love marriages as they are entered into by young couples in the West. The arranged marriage has adjusted to modernization. Today couples, depending on how liberal their parents are, have a coffee or meal on their own either at home, or in a restaurant, before deciding to commit.

A perfect husband or a perfect wife is a myth. As there is no perfect wife or perfect husband, there is no perfect marriage either.

The modern system of arranged marriage is somewhat similar to blind dating in the United States. The attraction between the couple is immediate. Part of it has to do with the fact that this union will take place with the full consensus of their families -- a very important consideration for Indian men and women raised traditionally.

Many marriages are even arranged without the consent of the bride, or where she has little opportunity to go against the wishes of her parents. In India it is a belief that to a great extent, love is just the psychological result of extreme closeness. As long as the two primary parties involved in an arranged marriage treat each other decently, and as long as the social foundation is sound and the union blessed by the two families involved, love indeed will usually evolve. The basic difference between a love marriage and an arranged marriage is that, in a love marriage the boy and the girl have had sufficient time to get to know each other during the days of their courtship.

In an arranged marriage since meetings between the boy and girl are not often, getting to know each other begins after the wedding. In view of this situation in case of love marriage, while affection begins at the time of their meetings, in the case of arranged marriages love and affection commences after marriage. In this sense, the arranged marriage becomes like a set-up date -- except that the person setting you up is a parent or relative instead of a friend!

Whether it is arranged marriages or courtship marriage, people seek perfect husbands and perfect wives. A perfect husband or a perfect wife is a myth. As there is no perfect wife or perfect husband, there is no perfect marriage either. Marriage is something you have to work at all the time, once you are married, it doesn't matter how you got together. You have to work to make it work. Success of marriage is in mutual Trust, understanding, acceptance, and also in mutual love and respect.